Love Stinks Frasier

I ranked every episode by season

2020.09.07 14:21 mionestyles I ranked every episode by season

Season 1 - All my life I have dreamed of one thing: the day I could go into a library, go to the card catalogue and see my name under "Mental Illness.":
  1. Dinner at Eight
  2. Give Him the Chair!
  3. I Hate Frasier Crane
  4. My Coffee with Niles
  5. Travels with Martin
  6. Frasier Crane's Day Off
  7. The Crucible
  8. Here's Looking at You
  9. Author, Author
  10. Miracle on Third or Fourth Street
  11. You Can't Tell a Crook by His Cover
  12. Oops!
  13. A Mid-Winter Night's Dream
  14. Selling Out
  15. Call Me Irresponsible
  16. The Show Where Lilith Comes Back
  17. Fortysomething
  18. And the Whimper Is...
  19. Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast?
  20. Beloved Infidelity
  21. Death Becomes Him
  22. Can't Buy Me Love
  23. Space Quest
  24. The Good Son
Season 2 - There's nothing wrong with Maris that wouldn't be cured by a little sun, some exercise and a personality:
  1. The Innkeepers
  2. Slow Tango in South Seattle
  3. The Candidate
  4. Flour Child
  5. The Club
  6. Retirement is Murder
  7. Adventures in Paradise: Part 1
  8. Adventures in Paradise: Part 2
  9. Duke's, We Hardly Knew Ye
  10. Daphne's Room
  11. Fool Me Once, Shame on You. Fool Me Twice...
  12. The Matchmaker
  13. Burying a Grudge
  14. Breaking the Ice
  15. Roz in the Doghouse
  16. The Unkindest Cut of All
  17. The Botched Language of Cranes
  18. Dark Victory
  19. Agents in America, Part III
  20. You Scratch My Book...
  21. An Affair to Forget
  22. Seat of Power
  23. The One Where Sam Shows Up
  24. Someone to Watch Over Me
Season 3 - She's such a groovy lady:
  1. Martin Does It His Way
  2. Chess Pains
  3. High Crane Drifter
  4. Look Before You Leap
  5. Moon Dance
  6. Where There's Smoke, There's Fired
  7. You Can Go Home Again
  8. Kisses Sweeter Than Wine
  9. The Last Time I Saw Maris
  10. Crane vs. Crane
  11. Police Story
  12. The Focus Group
  13. Come Lie with Me
  14. The Friend
  15. Frasier Loves Roz
  16. Shrink Rap
  17. Frasier Grinch
  18. Sleeping with the Enemy
  19. She's the Boss
  20. It's Hard to Say Goodbye If You Won't Leave
  21. A Word to the Wiseguy
  22. The Adventures of Bad Boy and Dirty Girl
  23. The Show Where Diane Comes Back
  24. Leapin' Lizards
Season 4 - Her lips said "No," but her eyes said "Read my lips.":
  1. Ham Radio
  2. A Lilith Thanksgiving
  3. To Kill a Talking Bird
  4. Three Days of the Condo
  5. Our Father Whose Art Ain't Heaven
  6. Are You Being Served?
  7. The Impossible Dream
  8. Head Game
  9. The Unnatural
  10. The Two Mrs. Cranes
  11. A Cranes' Critique
  12. Ask Me No Questions
  13. Death and the Dog
  14. Four for the Seesaw
  15. Roz's Turn
  16. Odd Man Out
  17. Dad Loves Sherry, the Boys Just Whine
  18. Mixed Doubles
  19. Roz's Krantz and Gouldenstein Are Dead
  20. Love Bites Dog
  21. Liar! Liar!
  22. Three Dates and a Break Up
  23. Daphne Hates Sherry
Season 5 - You're not even the sex I want!:
  1. Voyage of the Damned
  2. The Life of the Party
  3. Perspectives on Christmas
  4. The Ski Lodge
  5. Room Service
  6. Halloween
  7. Bad Dog
  8. The Perfect Guy
  9. First Date
  10. The 1000th Show
  11. The Gift Horse
  12. Frasier's Imaginary Friend
  13. Desperately Seeking Closure
  14. The Kid
  15. My Fair Frasier
  16. Sweet Dreams
  17. Roz and the Schnoz
  18. Ain't Nobody's Business If I Do
  19. The Maris Counselor
  20. Party, Party
  21. Frasier Gotta Have It
  22. Where Every Bloke Knows Your Name
  23. The Zoo Story
  24. Beware of Greeks
Season 6 - Poppity-pop-pop-pop!:
  1. The Seal Who Came to Dinner
  2. Dinner Party
  3. Three Valentines
  4. IQ
  5. How to Bury a Millionaire
  6. Good Grief
  7. Merry Christmas, Mrs. Moskowitz
  8. Hot Ticket
  9. Dial M for Martin
  10. When a Man Loves Two Women
  11. Secret Admirer
  12. Frasier's Curse
  13. Our Parents, Ourselves
  14. Taps at the Montana
  15. Dr. Nora
  16. To Tell the Truth
  17. Shutout in Seattle
  18. First, Do No Harm
  19. Roz, a Loan
  20. Visions of Daphne
  21. Decoys
  22. Good Samaritan
  23. The Show Where Woody Shows Up
Season 7 - I think you can call me "Niles" now:
  1. They're Playing Our Song
  2. Radio Wars
  3. Out with Dad
  5. A Tsar is Born
  6. Whine Club
  7. Back Talk
  8. The Three Faces of Frasier
  9. The Late Dr. Crane
  10. Father of the Bride
  11. The Apparent Trap
  12. The Fight Before Christmas
  13. Dark Side of the Moon
  14. Momma Mia
  15. Something Borrowed, Someone Blue
  16. Morning Becomes Entertainment
  17. Rivals
  18. Everyone's a Critic
  19. To Thine Old Self Be True
  20. Hot Pursuit
  21. The Dog That Rocks the Cradle
  22. Something About Dr. Mary
  23. Big Crane on Campus
  1. The Cranes Go Caribbean
  2. The Show Must Go Off
  3. Taking Liberties
  4. Motor Skills
  5. Hooping Cranes
  6. The Great Crane Robbery
  7. Sliding Frasiers
  8. Forgotten But No Gone
  9. And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon
  10. Daphne Returns
  11. Legal Tender Love and Care
  12. Frasier's Edge
  13. Cranes Unplugged
  14. It Takes Two to Tangle
  15. A Day in May
  16. Docu.Drama
  17. Hungry Heart
  18. The Wizard and Roz
  19. The New Friend
  20. The Bad Son
  21. Mary Christmas
  22. Semi-Decent Proposal
  23. A Passing Fancy
Season 9 - Yes, immerse yourself in the spectacle and the grandeur that are these United States, this… America:
  1. Bla-Z-Boy
  2. War of the Words
  3. Room Full of Heroes
  4. Mother Load: Part 1
  5. Mother Load: Part 2
  6. The Love You Fake
  7. Frasier Has Spokane
  8. The Proposal
  9. The Return of Martin Crane
  10. The Two Hundredth Episode
  11. The First Temptation of Daphne
  12. The Guilt Trippers
  13. Juvenilia
  14. Love Stinks
  15. Don Juan in Hell
  16. Three Blind Dates
  17. Moons Over Seattle
  18. Wheels of Fortune
  19. Deathtrap
  20. Bully for Martin
  21. Junior Agent
  22. Sharing Kirby
  23. Cheerful Goodbyes
Season 10 - With many awful facts about the scary hippopotamus!:
  1. Door Jam
  2. Enemy at the Gate
  3. Farewell Nervosa
  4. Fraternal Schwinns
  5. Star Mitzvah
  6. Roe to Perdition
  7. Fathers and Sons
  8. Rooms with a View (Part 2)
  9. Proxy Prexy
  10. Daphne Does Dinner
  11. We Two Kings
  12. Tales from the Crypt
  13. Analyzed Kiss
  14. Kenny on the Couch
  15. The Harassed
  16. The Ring Cycle
  17. Don't Go Breaking My Heart (Part 3)
  18. Some Assembly Required
  19. Lilith Needs a Favor
  20. Bristle While You Work (Part 1)
  21. A New Position for Roz
  22. The Devil and Dr. Phil
  23. Trophy Girlfriend
  24. Kissing Cousins
Season 11 - "Fridge pants.":
  1. Goodnight Seattle
  2. High Holidays
  3. The Doctor is Out
  4. Boo!
  5. Crock Tales
  6. Caught in the Act
  7. I'm Listening
  8. Frasier-Lite
  9. Guns N' Neuroses
  10. Murder Most Maris
  11. Coots and Ladders
  12. Freudian Sleep
  13. Detour
  14. And Frasier Makes Three
  15. The Babysitter
  16. SeaBee Jeebies
  17. The Placeholder
  18. Maris Returns
  19. Match Game
  20. Miss Right Now
  21. The Ann Who Came to Dinner
  22. A Man, a Plan and a Gal: Julia
  23. No Sex Please, We're Skittish
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2019.04.18 00:25 iminterestingplease Part 44.

Here I am again.
6988.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember rainbow contrails not being a thing?
6989.(New species.)Have you heard of the pelican eel?(Comet moth, sea angel, Spanish dance fish, albino pink bellies side neck, vulturine guineafowl, fish hook ant, unnamed "troll" animal, more weird blue and green and black colored reptiles, marine iguanas, more weird colored parrot fish, lots of weird bat fish, lumpsucker, Latvia blue cows, Amazon milk frog, saddleback caterpillar, alligator lizard, blue mushrooms, horseshoe crabs looking really different, pink elephants and hippos, piranhas in lakes and rivers in UK, more safaris in the US, flying dragon lizard, ghost trees can now have color, pink sharks now exist, white-throated rail comes back from extinction, tiny dinosaur with bat-like wings found in China, Dephinus Delphis Dolphin.)
6990.(New species.)Have you heard of the floating feather star?(Giant Buddha statue carved into stone mountain in China, Ushiku Daibutsu in Ibaraki, Japan, Statue of Jesus Christ in Lisbon, giant Genghis Khan statue in Mongolia, bears that have snouts for sucking up insects, basket weave trees, cheetah lizard, Mandarin duck, mammoth donkey, common moths and caterpillars looking more and more detailed, giant Aboriginal statues in northern Australia, bees trained to sniff out bombs, daisies with pink or purple on the back, and 4, 2, 5, 6, 10, 21 and many other weirdly numbered leaf clovers now existing.)(Anything else off with clovers?)
6991.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the N in Netflix not being cut ever?
6992.(Shoe name change.)Lugs/Lugz
6993.(Water Logo change.)Do you remember Évian being blue instead of red?Évian
6994.(Fictional Character name change.)General Khala/General Kala
6995.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember rhodium not being a thing?
6996.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Geese tongues and more birds with teeth, mollified man, human genes put into monkeys, sea lions have manes and other weird appearance changes, more reverse head humans, elephantiasis, cheetah face markings, NASA tethering similar to ballooning spider, more ice on the moon, pig brains brought back to life through experiments, more weird skinks, crescent shaped Venus and moon in daytime.)(Video below.)
6997.(Famous Singer name change.)Bonnie TayloBonnie Tyler(Do any of her logos look off?)
Add-On: Do you remember Jimi Hendrix never having any children?
6998.(Real Life appearance change.)Do you remember Charlie Chaplin not looking as clean and not appearing as fit?(Does his whole face look cleaner?)(Were his clothes less professional?)(Did he always have the signature mustache?)
6999.(Fictional Character name change.)Barbara Cole/Barbra Cole
7000.(T.V. Show Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Frasier not being connected?
7001.(Fictional Character appearance change.)Do you remember Homer Simpson having 3 strands of hair instead of 2?(Anything else off?)
7002.(Movie Scene change.)Do you remember the shower scene in Psycho never showing the knife or the contact between the knife and the woman
7003.(Car Model Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Cadillac Escalade not being connected?
7004.(Vacuum Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Oreck not being connected?(Anything else off?)
Add-On: Do you remember the R in Rite Aid not being cut?
7005.(Shampoo Logo change.)Do you remember the Xs in Nexxus not being connected?
7006.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Grainger being different?
7007.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the T and P in STP being normal?
7008.(Gas Station name change.)Mobile Oil/Mobiloil(Mobile Gas/Mobilgas)(Anything else about any of the logos look off?)
7009.(Car Model Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Ford Escape being normal?(Anything else off?)
7010.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the R and A not being connected?
7011.(Car Model Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Dodge Dakota being normal?(Anything else off about any of the logos having to do with Dodge?)
7012.(Car Model Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Toyota Yaris being normal?(Anything else off?)
7013.(Delivery Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in DHL not being cut?(Is the D off?)(Did the company not exist?)(Did Jimmy John's not exist?)(Choclate/Chocolate)(Vanila/Vanilla)(Epics/Epix and is the logo off?)(Books no longer say Fiction or Non-Fiction on the spine?)(Kirk Cobain/Kurt Cobain)(Every Time You Go/Every Time You Go Away)(Anything else off?)("I don't want any damn peas!"/"I don't want any damn vegetables!")(Trix Rabbit's nose is a different shape.)(Tootsie Pop Owl is white or yellowish instead of brown or tan.)(Evander Hollyfield/Evander Holyfield and is the pronunciation off?)(Lenoox Lewis/Lennox Lewis)(Nellie Furtafo/Nelly Furtado)(Trivigo/Trivago)(Dillon's/Dhillons)(Other spellings?)(Didn't Kim Kercheval die already?)(SugeSugar)(Arcticat/Artic Cat)(Anything else off?)(Spider that resembles sushi.)(Zach Galifanakis/Zach Galifianakis and is the pronunciation off?)(Other spellings?)(Super giant pineapples exist.)(Numerous "Hear what you want to hear" videos.)(Mary Janes candy changed to Mary Jane, not the shoes.)(Bonnie Taylor didn't actually change according to the original finder.)(Sherman Hemsley died in 2012, then 2019, then 2012.)(Crazy Bone/Krayzie Bone)(Lazy Bone/Layzie Bone)(Flesh And Bone/Flesh-n-Bone)(Sherwood Forrest/Sherwood Forest)(More Razzle Dazzle stuff.)(George Reaves/George Reeves)(Trestella, California/Trestelle, California)(Hill Valley Town Square in Back To The Future now has memorial in it when some remember nothing and others remember a gazebo.)(HomeGoids Os are now cut a little.)(The Thing movie logo letters are connected.)(World's first sci-fi stiry was written in the 2nd century.)(Singing instructors tell people to sing from their stomach and liver.)(Elle Goulding/Ellie Goulding)(More tech ahead of its time.)(White ravens now exist.)(Cassowaries now exist.)(Very young serial killers.)(Documentary on Amazon Prime released already?)(Turkish black carrots now exist.)(Rubber duck isopods.)(Jimmy Vaughn/Jimmy Vaughan/Jimmie Vaughan))(Lexis/Lexus)(Quentan Tarantino/Quentin Tarantino)(Other spellings?)(Bill Keane/Bil Keane)(Orgin/Origin)(Bill Baird/Bil Baird)(Bill DwyeBil Dwyer)(Bill Donovan/Bil Donovan)(Maleficent's face is now a blueish color instead of green.)(Roddy McDowell/Roddy McDowall)(Dolly Pardon/Dolly Parton)(Joe Poesci/Joe Pesci)(Other spellings?)(Hart/Heart)(Chameleons can copy more patterns and colors now.)(Zone Of Silence in Mexico.)(Did 4-leaf and other types of clovers not exist for you at all?)(Weird new planet related Mandela Effects.)(Alison's Restaurant/Alice's Restaurant)(Astronomer buried on moon in 1999.)(8 deadly sins?)(Meghan Markle having a boy instead of girl.)(Frank L. Baum/L. Frank Baum)(Devilled Eggs/Deviled Eggs)(Anything else off with the word Deviled?)(Heads-up Display/Head-up Display)(Does The Sign by Ace Of Base sound off?)(RoboCop KFC commercials.)(Established connection in Britain's Got Talent episode.)(Both The Doors and Doors exist.)(Both The Beatles and Beatles exist.)(Both The Beach Boys and Beach Boys exist.)(So many high quality photos of the Titanic and onboard it and during the sinking of it and during the rescues.)(Truely/Truly)(Droped/Dropped)Annie's dress design has changed.)(Annie now has the tagline The Movie Of Tomorrow.)(Boston album logo is merged.)(Is it Oliver or Oliver Twist cause it may be both now?)(Old and new Geek Squad logos have changed.)(Alice's Restaurant logo has merged.)(AC Delco is now merged.)(Heart album logo and logo in general letters are off.)(All Paramount letters are way off from what they once were.)(Dakine logo has off letters.)(PB Max letters are off.)(Clark candy bar letters are off.)(West Coast Video letters are off.)(Western Express letters are off.)(Drakkar Noir letters are connected and off.)(The Covergirls/Covergirls and their logos are all off.)(Cartier letters are off.)(Regular text on online search and newspapers and in certain fonts is starting to merge and in handwriting too.)(RachefelleRochefelleRockefeller)(Other spellings?)(Mosanto/Monsanto)(The ending of ER has changed in a lot of ways.)(Do you remember any other singers singing certain songs?)(Octapus/Octopus)(Orphan trains now used to exist.)(Street Sharks was now a thing.)(Eagles never sang Margaritaville or Cheeseburger In Paradise. Jimmy Buffett did.)(Eddie Rabbitt never sang The Wanderer. Dion DiMucci did.)(Twisted Sister never sang Cum On Feel The Noize. Slade did.)(Janis Joplin never sang Son Of A Preacher Man. Dusty Springfield did.)(The Cure never sang I Melt With You. Modern English did.)(Didn't Freddie Starr die 10-15 years ago instead of May 9, 2019?)(Carl Benz/Karl Benz)(Winona Ryder now wears a monocle in Heathers.)(Horses now never wore blinders.)(Baby x-rays are way different.)(Evie Noel/Evie Noall)(Mark Ferwings/Mark Fewings)(Brian Stavely/Brian Staveley)(Don Skool/Don Scool)(Cantelope/Cantaloupe)(Butterfingers/Butterfinger)(Spiders that can imitate ladybugs.)(The way some people from certain places can balance so well on steep mountainsides which may not be a change but could be.)(Teddy from Stand By Me now has a mole in some scenes and it's more obvious in certain scenes.)(1872 Lone Pine Earthquake which was largest earthquake that ever hit California in recorded history.)(Cussing in Little House On The Prairie?)(Was Todd Bridges never in the show at all and did the episode with him in it not exist?)(Type-O/Typo)(Jerry McGuire/Jerry Maguire)(Character and movie.)(David Williams/David Walliams)(Zebra Bullhead Shark.)(Man wants to legally change birth year from 1949 to 1969.)(Wayne's World 2 now came out in 1993 instead of 1994.)(Top Gun now came out in 1986 instead of 1987.)(Highlander 3: The Final Dimension now came out in 1995 instead of 1993.)(Scott F. Fritzgerald/F. Scott Fitzgerald)(Robert Fritzgerald/Robert Fitzgerald)(Richard Fritzpatrick/Richard Fitzpatrick)(Ben Effleck/Ben Affleck)(Savannah house cats now exist.)(Marshmallow plants now exist and marshmallows are no longer completely artificial.)(Shaun Wallace/Wallace Shawn and now there is another celebrity named Shaun Wallace.)(Didn't Doris Day earlier than May 13, 2019?)(Sauerkraut is now from China and not Germany.)(Didn't Tim Conway die before May 14, 2019?)(Everybody Get Up/Get Up Everybody)("Sad story."/"Sad soul."/"Sad songs.")(Do any of his logos look off?)(Is the video off?)(Moser Hotel/Mosser Hotel)(Wasn't there a butterfly on the movie cover for The Butterfly Effect?)("Lived a man who sailed the seas."/"Lived a man who sailed to sea.")(Mark Chestnut/Mark Chesnutt)(Do any of his logos look off?)(She's a maniac. Maniac at your door."/"She's a maniac. Maniac at your love."/"She's a maniac. Maniac I sure know.")(Was it something else?)(Do any of his logos look off?)(Did Hall & Oates sing this song and not Michael Sembello?)(Anything else off?)("Are the voices in your head?"/"Or the voices in your head."/"All the voices in your head.")(Do any of her logos look off?)("Give me your answer true."/"Give me your answer do.")("I'm half crazy over the love the love of you."/"I'm half crazy all for the love of you.")("Bicycle made for two."/"Bicycle built for two.")(Do any of his logos look off?)(Is the title off?)("The ending is just the beginning."/"The ending is just a beginner.")(Do any of their logos look off?)(Tangueray/Tanqueray)(Charles Dickerson/Charles Dickens)(Ernest Hemmingway/Ernest Hemingway)("Once upon a midnight dreary."/"Once upon a midnight dearie.")(Do any of their logos look off?)("Can you see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"/"Can you see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?")(Poinsetta/Poinsettia)(Exhalt/Exalt)(Bippity Boppity Boop/Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo)(Kanga from Winnie The Pooh almost never wears an apron.)(Eeyore's patches are missing.)(Piglet and Winnie The Pooh no longer have tails.)(Winnie The Pooh/Winnie-The-Pooh)(Hundred Acre Woods/Hundred Acre Wood)(Quails are poisonous.)(Polly In My Pocket/Polly Pocket)(Was it something else?)("Have yourself a Merry little Christmas time."/"Have yourself a merry little Christmas night."/"Have yourself a merry little Christmas now.")(US missionary killed by tribe happened years ago and has now only just happened.)("Thunderbolts and lightning."/"Thunderbolt and lightning.")(Monica Lewinski/Monica Lewinsky)("In the winter we can build a snowman."/"In the meadow we can build a snowman.")("Later on we'll perspire."/"Later on we'll conspire.")("No pleasure here on Earth I find."/"No pleasure here on Earth I found.")(Do any of their logos look off?)(Did the Beedrill and Ponyta Pokémon not exist?)(Arianna Grande/Ariana Grande)(Zapados/Zapdos)(Electrabuzz/Electabuzz)(Epseon/Espeon)("You want to go where everybody knows your name."/"You want to be where everybody knows your name.")(Octopuses don't have tentacles now. They have arms.)(Dainty Kane/Danity Kane)(Do any of their logos look off?)(Schitzophrenia/Schizophrenia)(Other spellings?)("You looking at me?"/"You talking to me?")(Gnocci/Gnocchi)(Macaroons are now the coconut deserts and macarons are the colorful cookies.)(Billy Banks/Billy Blanks)(Roobios/Rooibos)("If I could change the world."/"And I can change the world.")(Do any of his logos look off?)("Who could it be now?"/"Who can it be now.")("Christmas time is here."/"Christmas time is near.")("Time for joy."/"Time for toys.")("Do you really feel the way I feel?"/"Do I really feel the way I feel?")(Do any of his logos look off?)
7014.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Zumiez not being connected?(Is the WorldPants logo off?)
7015.(Cereal Logo change.)Do you remember the Rs in Cap'n Crunch cereal being normal?(Were the letters never connected in any of the names?)
7016.(T.V. Show name change.)The Twilight Zone/Twilight Zone/The Twilight Zone
7017.(Movie name change.)Spider-Man: Enter The Multiverse/Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse(Other names?)
Add-On: Do you remember the Easter Island statues not having eyes and not having hieroglyphics on them?(Anything else off?)(Do you remember Easter being earlier or later in the year?)(More celebrities brought back to life.)(Cochella/Coachella and is the pronunciation off?)(Jimi Hendrix dies at 27 now instead of 28.)(Marilyn Monroe now has a brother and sister.)(Reese Whithherspoon/Reese Witherspoon)(Did Reese Witherspoon play in Clueless?)(Did Alicia Silverstone not exist?)(Tree that has its own waterfall-like spout.)(Gavin McGraw/Gavin DeGraw)(More weird bridges.)
7018.(Famous Singer name change.)Lou Vega/Lou Bega(Other spellings?)
7019.(Song name change.)Winds Of Change/Wind Of Change
7020.(Shoe name change.)Mary Janes/Mary Jane(Other names?)
7021.(Cocoa Logo change.)Do you remember the Swiss Miss girl looking different or being dressed different or holding something or not?(Did she not exist?)(Did Swiss Miss pudding bars not exist?)(Did Swiss Miss only sell cocoa before?)
7022.(Fictional Character appearance change.)Do you remember Pop not having a white hat?,_Crackle_and_Pop
7023.(Fictional Character appearance change.)Do you remember the Trix Rabbit having a black nose?(Was the TV Tropes logo normal?)(Marylin Monroe/Marilyn Monroe)
7024.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Marlboro Beer not existing?
Add-On: Do you remember Tom Cruise's shirt in Risky Business not having stripes?
Add-On: Do you remember Waldo having an all red hat and was his shirt inverted?'s_Wally%3F
7025.(Slogan change.)"The taste that refreshes."/"The pause that refreshes."
7026.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Inflammable and Flammable not meaning the same thing?(Was Inflammable not a word?)
7027.(Date change.)Do you remember 420 not going as far back as the 1970's or not existing?
7028.(Spelling change.)Hippy/Hippie(Was the former the only acceptable spelling?)
7029.(Celebrity death date change.)Do you remember Lorraine Warren dying way before April 18, 2019?
7030.(Movie Series name change.)BladerunneBlade Runner(Do any of the logos look off?)
7031.(Famous Actor name change.)Bob Sagot/Bob Saget
7032.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember sailing stones not being a thing?
7033.(History change.)Do you remember Bonnie And Clyde being shot at by numerous cops as they exited a building instead of them being shot by less cops while in a car?
7034.(Music Lyrics change.)"You had my heart and soul in your hand."/"You had my heart inside of your hand."
7035.(Amusement Park name change.)Hershey Park/Hersheypark
Add-On: Do you remember Charlie Brown's hair being different in any way?
7036.(Famous Rapper name change.)Nate Dog/Nate Dogg
7037.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Snoop Dogg inventing terms and words like My Nizzle instead of stuff like appearing on Double Dutch Bus?
7038.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Stingrays that look like gargoyles, Elvis never sang Crazy Little Thing Called Love and Queen actually did, more swastikas in our past, eyes being less or more sensitive or being better or not, Harris hawks hunt in packs, protruberance/protuberance, fabella bone, more anatomy changes, women have bigger anterior cortex, insects that can change color, more Statue Of Liberty changes, squid and octopus tentacles now have teeth in them and the suction cups can swivel up to 720 degrees, CERN Symmetry movie, more new and big sea animals, more geography changes, more statue changes and new statues, more weird new gorilla related changes, celestrial/celestial, more DNA changes.)(Video below.)
7039.(New fruits.)Have you heard of the Cucamelon?
7040.(Song name change.)Saying Goodbye To Hollywood/Say Goodbye Hollywood(Are the lyrics off?)(Anything else off?)
7041.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the Robinson Crusoe stories being completely fiction?
Add-On: Do you remember Billy Joel having his newer look in the We Didn't Start The Fire music video?
7042.(New fruits.)Have you heard of the chocolate pudding fruit?
7043.(Company name change.)J.P. Morgan Chase/JPMorgan Chase(Was the name officially J.P. Morgan Chase?)(Were the letters not connected?)
7044.(Music Lyrics change.)"Love Stinks."/"Love Stink."(Do any of their logos look off?)
7045.(Famous Actor name change.)Chiwetel OkafoChiwetal Ejiofor(Other spellings?)
7046.(Celebrity death date change.)Do you remember John Singleton dying earlier than April 29, 2019?
7047.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Saturn's rings again, tribes with genetics of a 3rd human species, Malenesian people, Australian spider season, hypnotized chickens, camels are metal now, square starfish, planetary nebulas aren't planetary, sun is now blue-green, polar overdominance, genomic imprinting, mountains can be seen from further away now, new bone growth mechanism, more Amelia Earhart related changes, lots of earthquake changes surrounding how buildings used to be and how mud and water act now, more geography changes, women look more like men in the body and men look more like women in the body, hearts can continue to beat after death, moonfish, more anatomy changes, whipworms, more weird sea animals, clouds that rain in only one spot, sheep with huge butts, villages and places where all people only walk on all fours, smog in certain places, you can injure your shoulder if a doctor doesn't properly inject something into it.)(Video below.)
7048.(Movie Quote change.)"Long ago in a galaxy far away."/"A long time ago in a galaxy far far away."
7049.(Movie Quote change.)"May the force be with you."/"The force is with you always."(Was it the always the former and never anything else?)
7050.(Cereal name change.)Wheatos/Weetos(Wheatabix/Weetabix)
7051.(Restaurant name change.)Foodrockers/Fuddruckers
7052.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there not being so many high quality photos of Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi?édéric_Auguste_Bartholdi
7053.(Movie Quote change.)"I've been a rich man and I've been a poor man and I'd take rich any fucking day of the week."/"I've been a rich man and I've been a poor man and I choose rich every fucking time."
7054.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Dayton Miller not existing?
7055.(Company name change.)Sthl/Stihl
7056.(New species.)Have you heard of the fiery-throated hummingbird?
7057.(New plants.)Have you heard of giant dandelions?
7058.(New fruits.)Have you heard of indoor dwarf fruit trees?
7059.(Spelling change.)Novacaine/Novocaine(Was it only ever spelled Novacaine or something else?)(Was it never known as Procaine?)(Oralgel/Oragel/Orajel)(Lanacaine/Lanacane)(Dermaplast/Dermoplast)
7060.(Famous Singer name change.)Taylor Dane/Taylor Dayne(Other spellings?)
7061.(Product name change.)Swimmer's Ear Drops/Swim-Ear
7062.(Company name change.)Funk & Wagners/Funk & Wagnalls
7063.(Music Lyrics change.)"Hello my baby. Hello my darling."/"Hello my baby. Hello my honey."(Was it something else?)
7064.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the Coppertone baby's butt not completely showing?
7065.(Store name change.)Pet Value/Pet Valu(Were the logos never connected?)
7066.(Comic Strip name change.)Family Circus/The Family Circus
7067.(Music Lyrics change.)"Below his knees."/"Below his knee."(Other lyrics?)
7068.(Rock Band name change.)Steeley Dan/Steely Dan(Do any of their logos look off?)
7069.(Music Lyrics change.)"We can take it to the edge of the night."/"We can take it to the end of the line."(Do any of her logos look off?)(Other lyrics?)
7070.(Music Lyrics change.)"Hands touching hands."/"Hand touching hands."("To believe they ever wood."/"To believe they never wood.")("Good times never felt so good."/"Good times never seemed so good.")(Was there people singing a "Bomp, bomp, bomp" in the song?)
7071.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Shark spiral egg case, Easter egg plant, Ginko/Gingko tree(Other spellings?),Opthalmologist/Ophthalmologist, silverback gorilla coloration abd other gorilla changes, shark nostrils and other shark changes, RH- is not 61 different antigens, human tongue can smell, white strawberries are natural and other strawberry changes, tarahumera tribe can run hundreds of miles without practicing, bat used pitcher plant as a toilet.)(Video below.)
7072.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Christmas tree worms, pinhole cameras, Ground Zero photos look extremely fake now, more weird plants, person's finger grew over wedding ring, magnetic dunes, Russia and China almost went to nuclear war, more weird clouds, dish faced Arabian horses, 2 different types of nuclear bombs dropped on Japan, Earth's Star Trek shield, Bombay blood and more new weird blood types, water is number one greenhouse gas, pollen turns sky green, super corals, reindeer eyes change colors, water bullets from the sun, alcohol in space and the smell of space.)(Video below.)
submitted by iminterestingplease to Retconned [link] [comments]

2018.08.01 03:57 randomusernameguy4 A detailed personal ranking of every season of Frasier

I was recently having a discussion in another thread about which season is worse, S09 or S10. I made up a little list of the episodes I loved form each of those seasons and I found the results interesting. So, I decided to go further, put some more thought into it and rank each and every episode of the series and come up with an overall rating for each season.
Please keep in mind that all this is just based on my likes and dislikes and your ratings might be very different. I just doing this for fun and to indulge my own curiosity.
Here’s how it works: for every episode I love the season gets 1 point, for every episode I like the season gets 0.5 points and for every I dislike the season gets -1 point.
Let’s start.
I love; The Good Son, Space Quest, Dinner At Eight, I Hate Frasier Crane, Here’s Looking At You, The Crucible, Beloved Infidel, Selling Out, Miracle on 3rd or 4th Street, Guess Who’s Coming To Breakfast, Can’t Tell A Crook By It’s Cover, The Show Where Lilith Comes Back, A Midwinter Night’s Dream, And The Whimper is…, Give Him The Chair, Travels With Martin, Author, Author, Frasier Crane’s Day Off, My Coffee With Niles.
I like; Can’t Buy Me Love, Death Becomes Him, Oops, Call Me Irresponsible, Fourtysomethig. +1.5
Dislike; none.
Season score : 21.5
I love; Slow Tango In South Seattle, The Unkindest Cut Of All, The Matchmaker, Flour Child, Duke's, We Hardly Knew Ye, The Botched Language Of Cranes, The Candidate, Seat Of Power, Roz In The Doghouse, Retirement Is Murder, The Show Where Sam Shows Up, Daphne's Room (a.k.a A Room With A View), The Club, Someone To Watch Over Me, Breaking The Ice, An Affair To Forget, Agents In America, Part Three, The Innkeepers, Dark Victory. +19
I like; Adventures In Paradise Part 1, Burying A Grudge, Fool Me Once, Shame On You, Fool Me Twice…, You Scratch My Book, +1
I dislike; Adventures In Paradise Part 2. -1
Season score: 20.
I love; She's The Boss, Shrink Rap, Kisses Sweeter Than Wine, Sleeping With The Enemy, The Adventures of Bad Boy and Dirty Girl, The Last Time I Saw Maris, Frasier Grinch, Come Lie With Me, Moon Dance, The Show Where Diane Comes Back, Look Before You Leap, High Crane Drifter, Chess Pains, Where There's Smoke, There's Fired, Frasier Loves Roz, The Focus Group. +16
I like; Leapin' Lizards, It's Hard To Say Goodbye If You Won't Leave, A Word To The Wiseguy, Crane vs Crane, Police Story, You Can Go Home Again. +3
I dislike; Martin Does It His Way, The Friend. -2
Season score: 17.
I love; The Two Mrs Cranes, The Impossible Dream, A Crane's Critique, Head Game, Mixed Doubles, Our Father Whose Art Ain't Heaven, Dad Loves Sherry, The Boys Just Whine, Three Days Of The Condo, Death And The Dog, To Kill A Talking Bird, Roz's Turn, Ham Radio, Daphne Hates Sherry, Are You Being Served? +14
I like; Love Bites Dog, A Lilith Thanksgiving, Four For The Seesaw, The Unnatural, Three Dates And A Breakup, Ask Me No Questions, Odd Man Out. + 3.5
I dislike; Liar, Liar!, Roz's Krantz &Gouldenstein Are Dead. - 2
Season score: 15.5
I love; The Gift Horse, Halloween, The Kid, The 1000th Show, Voyage Of The Damned, My Fair Frasier, Perspectives On Christmas, Ain't Nobody's Business If 'I Do', The Zoo Story, The Maris Counsellor, The Ski Lodge, Room Service, Beware Of Greeks, The Perfect Guy, Bad Dog, First Date, Life Of The Party, Party, Party, Sweet Dreams. + 19.
I like; Frasier's Imaginary Friend, Desperately Seeking Closure, Where Every Bloke Knows Your Name, Frasier Gotta Have It. +2
I dislike; Roz And The Schnoz. -1
Season score: 20.
I love; Dial M For Martin, Hot Ticket, How To Bury A Millionaire, The Seal Who Came To Dinner, Roz, A Loan, Good Samaritan, Our Parents, Ourselves, The Show Where Woody Shows Up, To Tell The Truth, Decoys, Dinner Party, Taps At The Montana, Visions Of Daphne. +13
I like; Frasier's Curse, First, Do No Harm, Secret Admirer, Merry Christmas, Mrs Moskowitz, Three Valentines, IQ, Dr Nora, Shutout In Seattle. +4
I dislike; Good Grief, When A Man Loves Two Women. -2
Season score: 15.
I love; Momma Mia, Father Of The Bride, Radio Wars, Everyone's A Critic, Rivals, A Tsar Is Born, The Late Dr Crane, The Apparent Trap, Back Talk, The Fight Before Christmas, RDWRER (a.k.a. The Winnebago Show), Something About Dr Mary, Hot Pursuit, Morning Becomes Entertainment, The Three Faces Of Frasier, The Dark Side Of The Moon, Something Borrowed, Someone Blue. + 17
I like; The Dog That Rocks The Cradle, They're Playing Our Song, Out With Dad, Whine Club, To Thine Old Self Be True. +2.5
I dislike; Big Crane On Campus. -1
Season score: 18.5
I love; And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon, The Bad Son, The Great Crane Robbery, Taking Liberties, The New Friend, Mary Christmas, Frasier's Edge, The Show Must Go Off, Sliding Frasier's, Hungry Heart, Daphne Returns, The Wizard And Roz, A Day In May. +13
I like; Legal Tender Love And Care, Hooping Cranes, Docu.Drama, Forgotten But Not Gone, It Takes Two To Tangle, Semi-Decent Proposal / A Passing Fancy, +3
I dislike; Cranes Unplugged, Motor Skills, Cranes Go Caribbean. - 3
Season score: 13.
I love; Room Full Of Heroes, The Two Hundreth, Sharing Kirby, Junior Agent, Juvenilia, The Love You Fake, Frasier Has Spokane. 7
I like; The Return Of Martin Crane, Love Stinks, Bla-Z-Boy, Bully For Martin, Mother Load Part 1, Mother Load Part 2, The Proposal, Deathtrap, Cheerful Goodbyes. 4.5
I dislike; Don Juan In Hell, The First Temptation Of Daphne, Wheels Of Fortune, Three Blind Dates, War Of The Words, Moons Over Seattle, The Guilt Trippers. -7
Season score: 4.5.
I love; Bristle While You Work (1), Rooms With A View (2), Don't Go Breaking My Heart (3), Daphne Does Dinner, The Devil And Dr Phil, Fathers And Sons. +6
I like; Enemy At The Gate, Proxy Prexy, Kissing Cousin, Tales From The Crypt, Trophy Girlfriend, Kenny On The Couch, Roe To Perdition, A New Position For Roz. +4
I dislike; The Ring Cycle, Star Mitzvah, We Two Kings, Door Jam, The Harassed, Lilith Needs A Favor, Fraternal Schwinns, Some Assembly Required, Farewell Nervosa, Analyzed Kiss. - 10
Season score: 0.
I love; The Doctor Is Out, I'm Listening, Maris Returns (1), Murder Most Maris (2), High Holidays, Caught In The Act, Boo!, Coots And Ladders, Match Game, Miss Right Now, And Frasier Makes Three, Detour. +12
I like; The Babysitter, Guns 'N' Neuroses, Sea Bee Jeebies, The Ann Who Came To Dinner, Frasier-Lite, Freudian Sleep, Crock Tales, Goodnight, Seattle. + 4
I dislike; No Sex Please, We're Skittish, A Man, A Plan and A Gal: Julia, The Placeholder, - 3
Season score: 13
The TLDR rating of each season.
S01: 21.5
S02: 20
S03: 17
S04: 15.5
S05; 20
S06; 15
S07: 18.5
S08: 13
S09: 4.5
S10: 0
S11: 13
Most of these are pretty much in line with what I expected, but what really surprised me was S7. I had no idea that I loved it so much, even more than some of the earlier seasons.
Feel free to post your own rakings below.
Edit: formatting.
submitted by randomusernameguy4 to Frasier [link] [comments]

2018.01.15 19:04 11Limepark These are a few of his favorite things. Or Not.

I am doing some work and per usual have Frasier on loop in the background. I am listening to the episode Love Stinks. The one where he is trying to be more democratic and less elitist.
He just reeled off his lists of likes and dislikes and and I just laughed out loud.
Dislikes: Office parties Barbecues Boxing or watching sports of any kind ( although he does play squash and tennis) Buddy movies Any dish made with marshmellows He also dislikes cats being allergic to them and well...dogs. And I've also added-Martin's chair
Things he does like: Opera The symphony Elizabethan revenge dramas.
Let's not forget rarified cuisine, African art, sherry and good wine, cashmere, his family and few friends of course, his BMW, his show and spa days.
Just a thought. : )
submitted by 11Limepark to Frasier [link] [comments]

2018.01.08 20:00 KHXIII Contrary to popular opinion, I'm enjoying the character development in Season 7 onwards

Sure, they addressed some of the kinks and quirks the characters had in previous seasons, but wow. Frasier's Edge, Daphne Returns, The First Temptation of Daphne, The Return of Martin Crane, and Love Stinks are amongst the best episodes that delve into each main character's flaws and insecurities.
I just finished Room Full of Heroes and I was astonished by how they handled the scene between Niles and Martin. They never really explored Martin's character so this was a breath of fresh air.
submitted by KHXIII to Frasier [link] [comments]

2018.01.02 18:08 WriterJosh Solemn Creek, Chapter Thirteen: The Creek By Night

Chapter One:
Chapter Two:
Chapter Three:
Chapter Four:
Chapter Five:
Chapter Six:
Chapter Seven:
Chapter Eight:
Chapter Nine:
Chapter Ten:
Chapter Eleven:
Chapter Twelve:
Darkness surrounded her.
There was not a sound within the thick canopy of leaves and branches. Nothing moved, not even the wind.
Carefully, Deena moved forward. She had never been to this place, but it seemed somehow familiar; almost welcoming. She was surrounded by foliage; thick, rough. This is Eldridge Bluff. She felt excited. This was the place everyone was scared of. The place tough boys bragged about going, the place she’d often claimed to have gone, but no one ever really went there. But I’m here now. And I’m fine.
The thought made her feel elated. She ran forward a space and brush from close bushes brushed against her bare skin. At that moment she realized she was naked. Naked, and alone, and completely without protection, in a dark wood at night. She should be afraid, but as she stood there, taking it all in, she realized she wasn’t. She felt alive and whole, and like she would never be afraid again.
She began wandering in the same direction she’d run in. All around the quiet was serene and calming. She welcomed the brush of leaf and branch on her warm, yet cool, skin. Beneath her feet, she could feel a pulse, as if the woods were alive. She felt its breath. Her body bathed in it. She was ecstatic. No drug had ever taken her this sort of euphoria. No frenzied fucking had ever made her feel pleasure like this. The woods were all around her. They were alive. And they were a part of her.
This is where you belong.
That voice! She had heard it before. The sound of it brought back memories…memories of a second-string high and contemptible self-pleasure. The sound of that voice had broken through to her then, and had promised her everything she had ever wanted.
And I still do. I exist for you, little one. All I ask is that you come to me
She started forward even faster. She had to find this voice, and bask in the reward it promised. Everything in her life would be well. Her parents would be happy, she would be happy. She wouldn’t need to hurt herself anymore, or drug herself, or degrade herself. If only she could find the owner of that voice!
As she ran, she began to feel that it wasn’t only her feet carrying her forward. Some force, gentle but undeniable, was pulling her forward. That can only mean I’m going the right way!
Yes, little one. We wait for you. We wait in the dark corner of the earth.
She could see a light in the distance. A light that grew brighter with each step. Her body was ringing now, from head to toe. Ringing like a church bell, on a day of renewal. She ran still, and the light got brighter, the voice more clear.
The light was coming from a house. A large, palatial near-mansion right before her. Someone small stood on the porch, raising a lantern above its head. Come, child. Come now.
The force pulled at her harder, harder. It became less a gentle tug and more an insistent yank. She tumbled ahead, faster than she’d meant to, and the force pulled even harder. Now it was a decidedly unpleasant sucking sensation, pulling her forward even though she had stopped running, pulling her inexorably toward that house. The figure began to guide her with his free hand. That is righttoward uscome to us
She was lifted off the ground as the force carried her forward, and she was limp in its grip. Her fear began to grow. This, she realized, she wanted no part of. She drifted over the porch, past the man with the lantern, and into the yawning black of the entry of the house. Noises assailed her, noises unlike any she had ever heard. Some were tiny, secretive. Others were loud and haughty. Hands clasped at her; hands and…other things. Things that pulled her skin, and made sucking sounds when it let go. Things that felt like sandpaper, but only if sandpaper was surrounded by mucus. Faces swam in her vision. But were they faces? There were eyes everywhere, and mouths. Fur and scale, horn and glistening fangs. Soft, wet things slithered between her legs.
Yes, my brethren. She is yours. Take her, for she is our salvation. The Elder shall rise! iN’ichkt’aA kaI kOrdr aAd al’ tHroCK d’anIs’rak!
The slithering creatures took up the cry. She somehow understood that they were crying Elder! Elder! They began to force her legs open, the slithery things aggressive, angry as they assaulted her…
Deena woke with a start. She was in her own bed, and laying in a pool of her sweat. Her thin silk nightie clung to her wan form. From down the hall, she could hear her parents fighting.
She got out of bed, still trembling, and searched her school bag desperately for an E tablet. She was getting tired of easy drugs like Ecstasy and pot. She wanted to move into the harder stuff. This just wasn’t working for her anymore. Maybe heroin would keep a dream like that away.
Her bag held nothing but books, tampons and condoms. Fuck! Her desperation increased. She was in a state of near panic. If drugs weren’t going to help, maybe something else would. Stripping to her skin, she grabbed her phone and texted Jacob. She waited, but he must have been asleep. She tried a few others whose number she had, none of whom were answering.
Every time she closed her eyes she saw those things. She heard the whispering, mocking voices. She saw the man in the cloak and remembered the sensation of being pulled toward him.
She leapt from her bed. She needed something strong. A good high, a good fuck, something, anything to chase these images away. Maybe she could go find Beebo, or one of his boys. She remembered vaguely that he was in some sort of trouble, but she also knew that he hadn’t been caught yet. She quickly found a pair of daisy dukes and and a red strapless off-the-shoulder croptop. Then quietly, she stole down the stairs.
Across town, Father Dennis Holcomb woke suddenly from his sleep, biting back a scream. It was the day before the inter-church picnic. He looked around his small, Spartan room. No one was there, but he had felt the presence of a man there, watching him. He got up and went to the window, needing some fresh air.
He was short and stocky. In his mind he could almost see the dark little figure. It had stood at the end of his bed and laughed. You are mine. But he belonged to no man, and certainly to no demon, if demon was what the little man had been. He belonged to God.
Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
He cycled through the prayer by rote, before begging God to take these visions away.
They had begun last year. Sometimes he saw the little figure watching him at night, like tonight. Sometimes the figure was silent. Sometimes it laughed. Sometimes it whispered to him, calling him. At other times, he saw things so horrifying that he wished the little dark figure was all he saw. These visions came from the pit of Hell. In his dreams, if dreams they were, he saw the foul, fetid depths of reality, where twisted, eldritch beings, things that were the nightmares of abominations, waited on the edge of time for his soul. Man was not meant to see these netherbeasts. They always were there at the edge of vision, moving silently behind the curtain between the real and the unreal, but now they had moved from the edge to the forefront of his mind, and in his less guarded moments he saw them as clearly as he saw his room now.
But these were no dreams. Dreams were not real. They left you alone once the full light of day hit you. These visions were always with him. When he woke, when he went about his duties as parish priest, when he ate, when he shat, when he prayed, and most of all when he slept. Every detail remained with him, as fresh as when he first saw it. When he spoke with Ms. Caraldi, he could easily see one of those creatures as clearly as he saw her. When he spoke with the police earlier this week, he could see creatures of inky black and fetid yellow, bodies swollen and enflamed with foul pustules engorged with stinking evil, gibbering about the forms of the officers. He told himself that they were not really there; that he merely carried memories of his visions that could not be erased. But he could not be sure that he wasn’t really being followed, moment by moment, by the denizens of the pit.
Why will they not leave me alone? In his darkest dreams, he had never wanted to be anything more than a servant of the Almighty. And now, he was, and he intended to remain one for the rest of his life. But it seemed as soon as he had been installed in this parish, the visions had begun. And they had never left him.
He had become remarkably good at ignoring them. No one, not even Ms. Caraldi who spent several hours a day in close proximity to him, noticed anything amiss. In fact, that new Police Chief, what was his name? Hugo? Hughes, that was it. He was the first to notice anything at all, and even he didn’t seem to be able to put his finger on it.
He left his room and splashed water in his face at the bathroom mirror. He rubbed it through his hair. And then he entered a small vestibule to do the only thing he knew to do besides pray to rid himself of these visions.
The vestibule was rarely used these days, and lately by no one but him. A small partition was set up close to the far wall. The floor and walls behind it were covered in reddish-brown stains, and a leather strap lay on the floor. Father Dennis let his robe and boxers fall to the floor and went behind the partition. He knelt, facing the partition, where a mirror was hung, and took the strap in his hand.
He did not scream as he performed his task. This was the Lord’s work.
Garrett Blackburn did not sleep. Instead, he sat in his study, a Red Bull on the desk, as he poured over a stack of old books and photographs. He was a historian, and the history of the town he lived in fascinated him. Other fields of study fascinated him as well.
He had five books out, all of them yellowing and musty. The information contained within them would not be damaged by time, but the books themselves certainly had. The first was The Complete Oral History of Solemn Creek, Transcribed by longtime resident Richard Phelps, now deceased. Inside were lengthy transcripts of the founding of the town, of its growth, of its people, and of its legends. On page sixty was a picture of a stern, frowning man standing before an imposing Victorian home at the edge of a wood. It was captioned “Town Selectman Horace Eldridge”. Eldridge himself didn’t interest Garrett but the house behind him did. He could swear that he’d seen this house before, and he knew it was named “Dear Hope”, but he could not for the life of him recall where that knowledge came from.
A Look at Haunted Houses of the South was the second book. It was by a team of contributing authors, one of whom had come to Solemn Creek in 1943, ostensibly to report on an abandoned house just north of the town, in a stretch of woods. The actual report, however, was not included, as the contributing author refused to turn in any work, and was institutionalized a few months after his visit. The book included a full description of what he had gone to chronicle, his refusal, his being placed in an institution, and some wide-ranging speculation on what he had seen.
The third book was one that he’d had a hard time finding. After the so-called “Wolf-Man Murders” of the previous year, he’d finally found a copy on eBay after a few months of searching. It was called Verdict: Supernatural, published 1965, and was an exploration of murders and other crimes where the killer was not only never caught but the murders themselves seemed too sensational to have been committed by a run-of-the-mill human being. Inside several cases were detailed; a man who dug up his dead wife to chop off her head, convinced that she was a vampire and had been visiting their children in the night, feeding off of them. The children indeed were discovered to be suffering from anemia, and their blood levels were low. Also the man himself was not the only witness to his wife’s nightly visitations. Neighbors had seen her walking the streets at night, and a few of them reported symptoms similar to the children.
Or there was another woman who went to her local priest declaring that she was being stalked by a man who only she could see. The priest, naturally, believed she was schizophrenic, until the day the police discovered her body in her apartment, but she had obviously not taken her own life. No; her body was dismantled, not a piece of it left intact, and the various body parts decorated her home like a demented show room. Her blood painted the walls, and it was quite obvious that someone had taken the time to actually paint the walls in her blood, as much area covered as the amount of blood would allow. Her skull was a centerpiece on her dining room table, resting on a place mat that had once been her face. Her hair was on the floor by the front door like a welcome mat. Her intestines were strung on the wall like Christmas lights. The rest of the scene the book did not deign to describe.
The fourth book was Harriman’s Book of Monsters in which a demonologist named Campbell Harriman had compiled a comprehensible list of monsters and demons out of folklore from various cultures around the planet. Included was the basis for belief in a given monster; why it was that so many believed in its existence. He had searched meticulously through the book for anything remotely like the murder of Michael Simms; a creature that ripped bodies to shreds while burning them to the bone. He had found nothing.
The final book was easily the oldest, and the one he was currently perusing. It was so old that any casual treatment of it could result in a page tearing or disintegrating, or the binding completely coming apart. It didn’t even have a title, and as far as he knew the only copies that existed were those that had been copied by hand all in the same room and by the same group of scribes, hundreds if not thousands of years ago.
He had been given the book by his grandmother. She had been born and raised in Louisiana, and had been hounded by strong rumors all her life that she was a witch. On her death bed, Henrietta Langlinais had proven those rumors true, but only to her grandsons. She had entrusted Garrett, the oldest, with the keeping and care of this book, the legacy of her ancient Cajun family. For his entire adult life, he had kept it in a box in his attic. Every now and then, he thought he should go look at it, but every time his rational teacher’s mind told him he was being foolish.
That was, until last year, when the Wolf-Man murder case had exploded from a mere hunt for a psychopath into something out of Lovecraft. In particular, after his first Tuesday class where the daughter of the man who had investigated that case acknowledged that Michael’s death was more than just a routine murder, the game was sufficiently changed. Now he wondered, as he was sure Morgan herself did, whether or not Michael Simms’s death was entirely normal, and not paranormal. He had never wanted to believe in the supernatural before, deciding that his grandmother was a simple old woman who’d been raised around too many superstitions. But now he wasn’t so sure.
Morgan had phrased it best; nothing and no one in town could have performed the kind of desecration that Michael’s body had been put through. And she believed that his death was not entirely natural; that something unknown had been involved. Garrett Blackburn, historian, teacher, armchair criminologist and grandson to a swamp witch, was growing more and more certain that she was right. And he had to know for sure.
That had led him to this book. He’d taken a roundabout way of getting there; first looking through the more mainstream books he could find on the subject of strange, unsolved murders, haunted houses and the like, and finally to the book he’d never dared open. The book detailed old world creatures, imps, demons, and the forms they took. It talked about where they came from, what they liked to do. How they liked to kill.
And it taught spells for protection against them.
The book was also illustrated. The prints themselves were in astoundingly good condition, considering just how old the book was. They showed the demons themselves, and what signs to look for to be sure which one you were dealing with. It showed what their victims looked like.
Presently he was looking at a print of a body, its flesh stripped from it in dripping ribbons, being sloughed off of a charred skeleton.
Terry Holtz didn’t want to patrol. He didn’t want anything more to do with this town. He felt like going home, getting into his own Pontiac and just heading for Canada. I wouldn’t even be tempted to look back.
Nothing in this town had ever brought him good. He didn’t know what was keeping him here. My job? That’s a laugh. He never saw his friends anymore, working the night shift. His mother nagged at him whenever they spoke about quitting the badge and finding a good job in Herrington so he didn’t have to work nights. He’d committed a felony offense with a local high-school girl, one that could cost him everything he had, which wasn’t much, if it was ever discovered. And then there had been the body.
It had to be me that answered that call. I had to see itlooking like that.
The sight had haunted his dreams ever since. God, but he needed to get out, and as soon as possible.
He turned the squad car down Wayburn Avenue and drove slowly. He was the only other car on the streets. Hell, few people were still up, besides the regulars at the Last Man Standing. Even the partying teens had all gone to bed at this hour.
Except…up ahead he saw a small, skinny figure walking down the wrong side of the road. He knew who it was even without getting any closer. The girl wore tiny shorts and a tiny little red top with no bra. Her bony shoulders and flat stomach glowed in the streetlight. She walked quickly, but haphazardly, like she wasn’t sure where she was or where she was going. Despite the warmth of the night she kept rubbing her arms, stomach and chest. She paused here and there to run her fingers through her hair in a manic move that showed how strung out she was. Deena Hobart, out on the streets, looking for a fix. He knew there was no way he could just drive by her.
She proved him right by spotting him and running for the squad car. The only junkie I ever saw who would run toward a policeman.
“Terry? Oh, thank god. Help me.”
“Deena, what the hell are you doing out here?” he demanded. “Do you realize how lucky you are that I’m the one on patrol tonight? If it was Kleig or Vogel you’d be in the drunk tank in five minutes.”
“I’m not drunk, that’s the problem,” she said. “I need something. Now.” She was talking through hitching breaths. “I can’t find nothing but I need it. Things are bad. They’re real bad.”
“Nothing is so bad you gotta wander the streets at four in the morning. Deena, you need to get your ass home!”
“Can’t,” she said flatly. He could hear panic under her voice. “Can’t go home. Can’t see them. Can’t sleep. Can’t see them.”
Her parents? He knew that there was trouble at her home, but he kept wondering if it was really as bad as all this. Since he’d been in contact with her, Deena had sunk further and further into the gutter. She had seemed like a fun-loving party girl back a few months ago, when, staggering drunk, he’d run into her outside the Last Man. He remembered her drunkenly asking for a cigarette.
"What you need is a cup of black coffee," he'd replied.
She'd run a finger under his shirt and given him what passed for a seductive look. "I need something hot and black," she purred. "But it ain't coffee."
If only I'd been a bit more sober. Maybe it never would have gotten started between them. As it had been, he had no will to resist her advances.
It was only after their clandestine couplings continued once they both sobered up that he came to realize that it wasn’t all fun and games for her. She wasn’t getting drunk and sleeping around for the thrill. She was doing it to escape from something. As that something, whatever it was, got worse, she did too, going from liking to get drunk and high to being so drunk or high all the time that it was the only way she could function normally; going from enjoying sex to needing to be used like a filthy whore by whoever was willing.
She kept mumbling about “seeing them” and “gotta get away”. This had gone on long enough.
“Deena,” he said. “Do you realize what kind of trouble you could be in? You look like a junkie. A junkie prostitute. It’s obvious you’re looking for drugs. I should take you in. For that matter, just think about what some drunk guy could do if he saw you like this. You’d be perfect prey. Go home.”
She stood for a minute, shifting herself around, her hands unable to stop moving. Finally she muttered “Drive me?”
“You live on this street, Deena.”
“Drive me home, Terry. I’m in no condition to get myself home. I gotta have somebody. Somebody with me.”
This was a bad idea; very bad. He shouldn’t. He should just insist that she go home, and stay here and watch until she went in. That was all he should do. If she got in this car, things were going to happen that were not supposed to. They’d already happened too many times.
“Okay,” he said. “Get in.”
Frank Hughes stood before a large, Victorian manor in the heart of the dark woods of Eldridge Bluff. He knew, for some reason, that the Bluff was where he was. He looked around him. The forest was alive with plant life that squirmed and wriggled around each other, making sloppy-sounding noises that sounded more like bloated gas bags rubbing against each other than branches in the wind. Something was laughing; a hideous noise that was akin to tiny, skittering feet. Fat, rubbery roots, like tentacles, writhed on the ground.
The house was named “Dear Hope”, as he saw on a sign above the porch. From an era where all large houses like this had names. From behind its dark windows, flickering shapes appeared and disappeared. The house was as alive as the woods around it, and just as corrupted. He watched a long, slithering shape worm its way across the windows on the top floor.
He could feel the house watching him. It didn’t know why he was here. He didn’t either, but he was going to find out. Moving with a determination that he was in a dream, and no physical harm could come to him, Frank walked through the woods toward the house. Roots reached up and tried to snare him. Trees hung their branches in his face.
The front door to the house opened and a huge shape emerged. It lumbered on two legs, its awkward body bloated and covered in coarse, bristly fur. It lumbered toward him, with its yellow eyes glowing and its too-large mouth hanging open. It growled, low and rumbling, and raked the ground before the porch with its claws. Little puffs of black smoke trailed in its claw marks.
Behind the beast came a small, squat form wrapped up in a cloak of night. Frank heard the snuffling noise again and realized he was being laughed at again. This was the same person, the same being that he had met in the station parking lot, and again at the church.
“Hey, there, fucker,” he said. Somehow, here, he didn’t feel afraid.
“Frank. Hughes,” said a soft, mellow voice.
“Wanna tell me who you are?”
More snuffling. The creature drifted forward as though carried on a cloud of smoke.
“You know me, Frankie,” it said. “Oh yes. We’ve met.”
“I know. I think it was last year,” said Frank. This was the killer. It had to be.
“Perhaps,” cooed the short shape. “We didn’t meet face to face back then. But I watched you, Frankie. I studied you for a while. I know you, and I know about your weaknesses.”
“Joke’s on you, little buddy,” replied Frank. “I don’t have any.”
The snuffling again. “Oh, Frankie, please, don’t delude yourself. You know you have weaknesses. And I know of two very large ones.”
It took a moment to dawn on Frank. “You sonovabitch!” he snarled. “Leave them out of this!”
“Oh, but why, dear boy?” sneered the figure. “They are so innocent; so sweet. I’m sure they taste delicious.” He said it casually, as if talking about an hors d’oeurve.
Frank felt fury surge within him. “Listen, creep. So much as a hair on their heads…”
“Oh, dear me, have I touched a nerve?” laughed the cloaked man. “So sorry. But you know, I don’t have to hurt them. I just have to take them. Make them mine.”
Frank hurled himself toward the little man. He was going to end this here and now. Before he knew it, the large hairy creature had casually stepped into his path and flattened him on his back with a powerful backhand. Frank hit the ground hard, feeling like he’d played chicken on a bicycle with a Boeing 747.
“Oh, and by the way,” said the man. “I don’t need to do a single thing to them in order to get to you. You are completely powerless before me. I could kill you now, in this dream. I only wish to bring you to heel before I kill you. I want you to hurt. I want you to suffer like you’ve never known suffering. I want the kind of pain you know now to feel sweet to you. When you beg me…beg…and really wish it, I will end you. Until then, I will toy with you and those you love as I see fit…”
Frank sat up. Air from the fan blew against his sweat-soaked skin. He dove out of bed and walked down the hall, ducking his head into his children’s bedrooms. Both were sleeping soundly. He walked quickly back to his own room and sat on the bed, trembling. He was breathing quickly. He forced himself to slow down, to take stock of his dream. After a while, his breath came normally and he lay back down.
That creature. It made the ground smoke where it clawed at it.
The woods were silent around him now. He stood on the porch of Dear Hope and surveyed the land around him. The town slept. No businesses were open. There were few people on the streets. Cooter Hess, Marvin Tash, Ross Kemp, Eddie West, Mack Frasier and Bud Coulter were departing the Last Man Standing. Ross was puking into a sewer grate. Dan Vogel was standing behind him, not in uniform, but still looked ready to do something should Ross try to get behind the wheel of a car. The long and stupid arm of the law.
Just a few streets over, behind a closed garage in a blind alley, Terry Holtz had Deena Hobart bent over the hood of his squad car, taking her from behind like a dog. The man chortled to himself, realizing it was his implanted dream which had sent the little strumpet out into the night. Played right into my hands.
Arnie Frasier slept fitfully, tossing and turning. For a moment, he considered entering Arnie’s dream and taking the form of young Michael Simms. He decided against it. Michael had been incidental to his plans. Just more blood for the altar, as the young black man and his gang would be soon. The graH’c nEk had been sent to harry the gang into the woods, taking the form of a young man, or men, similar to they, while the cHep’oKna’ was supposed to bring the body to the house. The graH’c nEk had performed admirably while the cHep’oKna’ had almost lost his prey in the woods, but since Michael had run to the house anyway, the punishment for the poor dumb beast had been minimal. If only he had disposed of the body somewhere less visible.
Frank Hughes was pacing the back deck of his house, puffing on a cigarette. At the sight of him, anger flared in the cloaked man. You couldn’t keep quiet, could you? You pathetic heap of a man. Vengeance was mine by right. And you had no right to take it public. I will end you. He thought back to the sweet vengeance he’d taken last year, at how he’d tasted the delicious blood of the three dullards who had been so unworthy of life. He remembered revisiting the pain upon them tenfold, and how every inch of him had reveled in their slaughter. He felt his cock go hard at the memory.
And now it was his turn to repay the Elder for the gifts he’d granted to make that possible. And repay him I shall. He shall be loosed upon the world, and the reckoning shall begin.
Chapter Fourteen:
Chapter Fifteen:
Chapter Sixteen:
Chapter Seventeen:
Chapter Eighteen:
Chapter Nineteen (Final):
submitted by WriterJosh to libraryofshadows [link] [comments]

2017.08.14 21:33 ibid-11962 Transcription of's "Ask K.A." columns from 1997-1998 (part one)

Previous interview List of interviews Part Two Next Interview
KA Applegate started answering fan questions on's "Ask K.A." section in late 1997. In June 1998 legal concerns forced her to move over to the forum on Scholastic's official website.
The timeframe for these questions is between books #13 and #19.
Due to length the interview is being split up into two posts. This is the first one.
The questions are presented in the order as archived by, which should probably roughly represent the order of being asked/answered. Some editing has been made for clarity. (The original can still be found on the Wayback Machine.)

Ask K.A.

I just wanted to know (beware the question) are you going to make any more books by Elfangor, plus what other morphs does he have? I mean are we supposed to believe that he only has 3 (count'em 3) morphs? Another one I'd like to ask (last question, it won't hurt, promise) does Aximili have any other morphs that are NOT from Earth?
I have no plans to use Elfangor again. Sorry. He appears to be pretty dead at this point.
It actually makes sense that Elfangor only has a couple morphs. Morphing is essentially a weapon to the Andalites. It is used for infiltration and espionage. Since Elfangor (at the time of the Andalite Chronicles) and Ax now, are both just arisths, they would no more have a lot of morphs than they would be in command of a dome ship.
Did Elfangor acquire other morphs later in his career? Probably. But we haven't seen that part of his story.
When will your next Mega Morph come out? How many books is it going to go up to? Alot? I hope so. Well, I hope you don't want to finish it too soon, as I really LOVE reading your books.
The next Megamorphs will come out exactly one year after the last one. When is that? I know this is dumb but I don't remember. I can tell you one thing, though: Megamorphs #2 is better than #1. We're talking exploding nuclear weapons, time travel, dinosaurs, comets, two alien species and massive destruction. Not to mention an explanation for the existence of broccoli.
I am currently committed to write up through Animorphs #30. Beyond that, I don't know yet.
Are their going to be any other Chronicles books besides The Andalite Chronicles and the Hork-Bajir Chronicles?
Actually, we are considering something called the Visser Chronicles which would be the story of Visser One and Three. What do you think? Good idea?
I think your books are soooooooooo great!!! I love how you narrate the books like you are a kid and not some adult impersonator. I was wondering how you get kids jokes and humour and favourites so well! I was also wondering if you could let out the little secret of where they live and how old they are. (an ongoing argument between me and my AniFriends) Thanks so much for writing my favourite books!
I don't know how I can sound like a kid. Maybe I'm just not very grown-up.
The more serious answer is that when you're writing you're not so much trying to sound like a kid, as you are trying to sound like a specific character. In other words, I'm trying to sound like Cassie or Jake or Rachel, each of whom just happens to be a kid. I never think "oh, I need to make this dialogue 'younger'." At most I sometimes think "hmmm, that word is out of place." I try not to ever condescend. I know sometimes the result is over the heads of some readers but I'd rather be just a little over their heads, rather than too "babyish."
I used to work as a ghostwriter for Sweet Valley Twins, and I always hated the way you had to use made-up rock stars and made-up stores and made-up TV shows. I decided that in my own series I'd try never to do that. Of course sometimes I do, as in the book (#12?) where I was pretty obviously spoofing Jonathon Taylor Thomas.
But mostly I try and stay somewhat in touch with popular culture, and I try to make references kids will actually get. I mean, if the characters are going to the mall what am I supposed to do, pretend there's no Gap? If they're listening to music why not reference anything from Hanson to Offspring? What should I do, pretend they're big Beatles fans? And if they're watching TV, why not use Buffy The Vampire Slayer, or X-Files? I like to stay as real as I can. Seems to me like the obvious thing to do.
And gee, I've rattled on and on, so I guess I just don't have time to get around to telling you where the Animorphs live.
Are you only going to do 30 books?
Honestly? I expect to sign for more Animorphs books.
I know pretty much about the human members of the Animorphs, their families, that type of thing. But what about Ax? He is my favorite character, and almost seems like a friend. I want to know more about him. About his planet, his family, his friends. Will you ever put that type of stuff in?
I may. You'll meet many more Andalites in book #18, but not members of Ax's family. However, the idea is an interesting one.
Are you, or have you ever, considered making another Animorphs related series, possibly geared more toward older readers? Someone said you were, and that'd be... um... well, for lack of a better word, wonderful!
Actually, yes. I appear to have just sold a new series concept which will be more "fantasy" than "science fiction." It won't be out for at least a year, however. In fact, so far I haven't written a single word, aside from the concept. I don't want to say too much about it because a lot can change as I delve into the work.
The tentative title for this new series is . . . Otherworld.
My son Jonathan is a devoted fan of your books and I've read a few of them. I'm curious about your influences. When I was a teenager I read all the Robert Heinlein juvenile science fiction books ("Time for the Stars", "Starman Jones", "Have Space Suit, Will Travel", "Citizen of the Galaxy", etc.). Did you read these books, and have they had any influence on your writing? It does seem as if the Animorph books are gradually exploring all the traditional science fiction themes: alternate worlds, time travel, etc., after starting out with the traditional theme of alien invasion.
I wish I could say that I had read a lot of science fiction. The fact is I have not. I sort of stumbled into science fiction as a vehicle for writing about animals. I will however, freely admit that I swipe ideas from science fiction movies and TV, but I am embarrassingly poorly read in the science fiction genre. I suppose I'm getting the indirect influence of people like Asimov and Heinlein, since I presume that Star Trek, Star Wars, Babylon 5 et al are influenced by them.
I'd love to read more science fiction, and hope to some day down the road, when I'm off the book-a-month series treadmill.
What was your inspiration to do a set of books called Animorphs? Did you ever worry that people would think you're books were too "spaced out" or anything? Whenever I write science fiction and have to hand it in I'm always worried I'll get criticized over it. I have to admire that your courage!
Yes, I was worried that Animorphs might not be popular. In fact, in early conversations with editors I kept saying "look, let's not raise our expectations too high, this will probably be a slow-building series." Well, obviously I was wrong.
I was actually worried because Animorphs tends to be about two very different things: 1) animals, 2) aliens. It was like some weird mix of nature book and science fiction. I was concerned this would be confusing.
I had studied the success of Goosebumps and concluded that one reason for its success was that it focused on a single emotion: fear. Readers knew what to expect. I didn't have one, single emotion in Animorphs. I had several. I didn't have a concept that could be explained in five words or less.
Just to make matters worse, I don't much like writing simple, straightforward, always perfect characters. I like characters who mess up, who try and fail, who get on each other's nerves, who can be obnoxious. I think there are books where readers are a bit annoyed with Cassie's moralizing, or Jake's self-doubt, or Rachel's recklessness.
Finally, I am allergic to simple answers to complex problems. I just don't know whether it is more moral to fight evil, or to meet evil with peaceful resistance alone. And I don't know why it's okay for a hawk to kill and eat a cute little mouse, but some people think it's wrong for humans to eat cows or pigs. So when I get to questions like that in Animorphs I tend to leave the answers up in the air.
So basically, I had this series that was half nature book, half science fiction, written by a woman (me) with almost no knowledge of either, that would be full of complicated characters, and complicated situations, and complicated philosophical questions, with all kinds of weird, made-up words and invented alien species . . . I mean, it sure didn't sound like a hit. It sounded like it was going to go right over kid's heads.
And yet, it was a hit. Which shows one thing: kids are smarter than adults give them credit for. I used to know that when I was a kid. I forgot it, like a lot of adults do. Now I've learned it again. Thanks to my readers.
Dear KAA,
I, along with many other fans, have noticed that sometimes your books go a little more advanced than where they stand on age groups and so forth. I myself am just now turning 15 and have enjoyed your books for well over a year. I know that my age group usually can't wait for a Tobias or Cassie book for its seriousness. I mean, the humor books are great, but it's like some of the newer books seem to be getting less and less serious. Everyone I know personally prefer the serious books. It's something the older readers can enjoy more than reading about robot dogs or something. Now, all of your books are great, all I'm saying is they are changing. It's like they are changing to meet the younger readers or something. I don't know but i know that when something good comes along, like Seinfeld for example, it's great but it changes and strays from its true from. I'm not exactly sure what causes it. I'm guessing trying to achieve more popularity, but in the process changing the actual thing. All I'm saying is it would be horrible for something like that to happen to Animorphs. It seems to be straying from its original atmosphere. It's impossible for me to say if it's better or worse at different times because I'm just a single person and not your entire market, but Animorphs is your creation. It's not about selling books, it's about creating something. Once you've created something it has to be preserved. When you were answering messages on Scholastic Network's message board, I was the one that compared you to Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes. I said that both of you took your creations above the standard of their medium, his being a comic strip yours being an intermediate book series. Well, like I said, they seem to be changing in the most recent ones. Your books would have quotes and things happening that would make you think and become absorbed in the books; a window into another perspective. I don't want to see that change.
Your friend, - Hawk
Hawk, you bring up a good point. Yes, in some ways Animorphs is going through changes. However, I think it would be jumping the gun to ever assume that any set of changes is permanent. Let me explain: Writing a series is a tricky business. It's not like writing a single book. It's a marathon, rather than a sprint. I have to keep my characters interesting over a very long haul. I have to try and invent original plots. And, I have to keep my own interest up, too.
So, basically, I need to use every trick I know, every weapon in my arsenal, so to speak. The "humor" books are one part of that. I don't mean to ever detract from the overall feeling of Animorphs, but I agree with Marco that you decide at some point whether you believe life is essentially tragedy or comedy. I try and believe that life is comedy.
More to the point, though, no feeling exists without its antithesis. Without love we might not understand hate. Without fear we might not understand security. Any single emotion, repeated again and again, without a break, loses its impact. You need tension and release. Not just tension. And if I am relentlessly dark I think I'll lose the impact of real darkness when I need it.
Let me ask you: if two people are in danger, and one of those persons is a gloomy, depressed individual, while the other can sometimes be happy and hopeful, and other times sad, whose fate concerns you more? The grim, depressed person is less interesting because, frankly, he's expecting awful things so what's the big deal? While the idea of something awful happening to a person who is full of hope and full of a range of emotions is more troubling.
That's why we need to lighten the mood occasionally. Because by lightening it up sometimes, I can darken it more later.
However, there is also the fact that I don't want the series to become too violent, or too pessimistic. I don't want my characters to end up sounding like burned out combat veterans. They are kids, after all. Very cool kids, but kids just the same.
Finally, I know this sounds like a lame explanation, but like anyone else I get into moods. Sometimes I'm just feeling like writing something perky. Andalite Chronicles was quite dark, Megamorphs 2 is very dark, the next Ax book (sorry, I can never keep track of the numbers) is pretty dark. The current book, #15 isn't exactly Full House. Next book up, #16 is so dark at the end that it worried me. I had to go back and soften some of it at my editor's suggestion. #19 isn't so much dark as philosophical, but I am going to catch all kinds of grief over it.
In just the next dozen books the Animorphs are going to decide on the correctness of using an addictive substance against their enemies, the morality of violence, the logic of self-sacrifice, the degree to which they will welcome help from someone who is utterly ruthless and evil. They will encounter treason and madness and betrayal. They will, in fact, wipe out the biology of an entire planet for their own ends. (tricky one, there.)
With all that gloom and fear and depression I need to be able to take an occasional book and just have some silly fun.
I will say this, though: I never consciously make Animorphs "younger". I never dumb it down. As it is I'm using vocabulary and concepts that are way off the series map. If I ever sound like I'm dumbing something down you have to realize it may just have been a day when I was especially dumb.
Dear K.A., I've always had a pretty good talent for writing, and I plan to be a writer when I grow up. The thing I want to ask is, how does it work? How do you get started? Where do you get your ideas for starting a series? And if you do manage to get a series (or a novel, for that matter) going, then how do you stay with it? Do you ever get sick of writing about Animorphs? I've stopped writing several novels because I get bored with the plot. It seems great at first, but after a while, it looks boring and uninteresting. How can you come up with a storyline that will stay interesting? Also (I'm beginning to wonder if I've written too many questions), were you ever embarrassed of your books? You know, in the beginning, when you had just started writing. I have accomplished making a few short stories, but when I let my friends read them, I become afraid that they'll think it's stupid or something. I respect your ability to write fantastic, incredible, phenomenally wonderful book series. I can only hope that I will be half as good an author as you are. -Osprey
The hardest thing to do is not to let yourself become distracted by some new idea before you've finished the story or book you've set out to write. It's especially hard when you're just starting out, writing your first book. Each new idea seems better than the last. But as you get down to details you discover that the new idea has problems, too. So it's on to some still newer idea. There's a reason for this: every idea seems great from a safe distance, but every idea comes with its own share of problems.
Two things to remember: 1) Writing isn't supposed to be easy. Learning to get past the problems with an idea is what teaches you your job. Each time you figure out how to fix a problem you become a better writer, and more confident.
2) Don't worry about writing THE book, just write A book. Now, if you're Faulkner, ignore this advice. But if you're a mere mortal you have to realize that you are not going to be writing the most perfect book ever written. Hopefully you'll be writing a good book. Maybe a great book. But there will be other books down the road. If you write this book and do your best and nevertheless it's still only a B+ and not the A+ you were hoping for, well, it's still a good book. And you'll have learned a thousand times more than you'll learn by agonizing over finding the perfect idea.
You mentioned getting bored with the plot If that happens, look for the twist, the new angle, the bizarre scene that will save it from being boring. My books seldom end up being what they started out being. I change things as I go. If I sense it's too slow, I take it a new direction.
The day in, day out grind of writing is like any other job in some ways. It's not so much about being inspired. It's much more about being disciplined. Ideas are easy. Writing ten pages a day, or whatever your goal, is tough. It is often boring. Usually boring. You're sitting at home with a TV and a stereo all close by, the car is gassed up and ready to take you out into the world to have fun. There's no boss standing over you telling you to work. So what makes you sit and write? Inspiration? Not usually. Discipline makes you work. I know that's a horribly dull answer, but it's true. The hard part of writing is the writing, not the thinking or imagining. Putting word after word after word, that's the challenge. At least for me.
That's not to say I get bored with Animorphs. When I'm all done I read things back and laugh and think "cool!" and tell myself what an excellent writer I am. But during the actual writing I'm usually thinking "oh, man just three pages? All I've done is three pages? I want to get outta here!"
Dear Ms.Applegate,
In the answer to a past question, you said you would get a lot of grief over #19. This is a Cassie book, I believe, where she want's to quit the Animorphs because she is using violence and is loosing her love for animals.
In #9, though this is still a classic Animorph book, Cassie seems to be very, very depressed because she killed the termite queen. My friends and I were getting a little bit tired of her doubt.
So I guess what I'm trying to ask is: What do you feel about Cassie's depression and doubt, will this pop up in #19, and did you get a lot of complaints about #9? --Magic
I feel a little sorry for Cassie because I'm using her as my vehicle for exploring moral issues.
Here's my thinking: I did not want the action or violence in Animorphs to be cartoon. I didn't want it to be Power Rangers. Personally, I despise violence, although I accept it for self-defense. Other people reject violence even in self-defense. So, with Cassie I'm trying to remind readers of something: violence is an evil, sickening fact of life. It's not good. It's not admirable. It's not what we want in our lives. Even when it is necessary it is bad. Even when killing a Hitler or a Pol Pot, even when defending your family, even when fighting to save lives or freedoms, violence is bad. The fact that it is sometimes necessary does not make it good.
With Cassie, and with the other characters to some extent, I want to make the point that even necessary violence damages the person carrying it out. The characters and the readers should think about that.
All that having been said, are combat soldiers often great heroes? Of course. Is it an admirable thing to defend freedom? You bet it is. But you won't find a real combat hero anywhere who would not trade all the heroism of battle, for simple, boring peace. And I don't think you'll find many true heroes who haven't regretted what they had to do, and had doubts about the morality involved.
I don't want Animorphs to be just Slash! Slash! Tseeeww! Tseeeww! and no one thinks twice about it. So we have moralizing Cassie, and worried, self-doubting Jake, and reckless, maybe even self-destructive Rachel, and ruthless Marco, and the conflicted predator, Tobias, all "discussing" this issue over the course of many books. With an assist from Erek the Chee. When all is said and done I hope readers will have thought a little about the meaning of life, the relative value of one life compared with another, of one species compared with another, the morality of self-defense, the limits of self-preservation, and so on.
I want Animorphs to be fun, first and foremost. But I think the readers are smart enough to occasionally be confronted with some questions that don't necessarily have yes or no answers.
Dear KAA,
My question has to do with your view of the Animorphs TV show. Many followers are very worried that this will totally destroy the image of your books. I'm sure you realize scholastic will make them how they think is best and in their own image. I guess its an obvious question to ask how you feel about it. I'm sure you aren't too thrilled, depending on your view. If your more concerned about having control of your series and preserving its atmosphere the show may definitely be a bad thing. If you want you books to become well-known and reach a large audience ( if the show isn't a piece of crap) then it's a good thing. Which is your view? Most of the views on this side are very negative toward the show. The books are becoming too commercial and will eventually lose their image if the show isn't true to the series. Have you seen the scripts? Should we fear it? I feel it will be very bad and will totally destroy the series. We know that they will be morphing with their clothes on thanks to the internet and that is getting a little corny. An interview with the writer of the series revealed that. It also revealed the worst aspect of the tv show medium. It goes much too quickly. I am just starting out writing and I have learned the worst thing ( and most common) thing to happen to stories is it rushing too quickly... I have a lot of trouble slowing my stories down to real-time and the show wont even try. It will cut out so many important part and cut out so much explanation trying to cram an entire book into about 24 minutes (counting commercials) that it wont preserve it at all. In the message I sent you on the scholastic message board I compared you to Bill Watterson of Calvin and Hobbes and yet again it emerges. I read in the 10th anniversary about his gigantic struggle to keep Calvin and Hobbes from becoming too commercial. And if you think about it if you never read the comic and just saw the merchandise you would probably be turned of by the idea. It wasn't always a bratty kid it would talk about the evils of man and the pollution of the world and would often get very philosophical. You cant get philosophical on a T-shirt. Scholastic will be making its own stories for the show besides books 1 and 6. Basically my question in all of this babble is how do you feel about the coming of the TV show? Do you feel animorphs be destroyed by it? I'm not sure how you view your own books. Do you feel that the atmosphere created by them should be preserved? or is it just a series about kids saving the world which many feel is what the show will be about...
Your friend, - Hawk
I have all the same concerns you do about the TV show. I'm worried it will stink. I'm worried that if it does stink it will turn people off on my books. I'm worried that if it stinks I'll have lost a major opportunity. Worst of all, I have absolutely zero control over the show. None. Zip. All I can do is wait, helplessly, to see if my books end up looking ludicrous on TV.
Animorphs TV has some major problems from the start. First and foremost, a faithful adaptation of the books would cost more than making "Titanic." I mean, we're talking special effects like the morphing, space ships, Dracon beams, and so on, animal training, wild sets, costumes, stunts, intense make-up . . . Not to mention just the cost of having Ax embodied somehow. It would cost a fortune. It would cost a couple of fortunes.
So, you have to realize that merely on the basis of economics there is no way the TV show can be like the books. After all, it costs me nothing to write "then the Dome ship comes into view", while showing that event on TV costs a lot of money.
Which means that in order for the TV show not to stink it will have to make up for special effects with good, intelligent writing: humor and character development in particular. What are the odds of that happening? Well, I guess we'll find out. Given what I see of TV writing for kids, it's hard to be optimistic. TV writers seem to be under the impression that kids are idiots. They seem to believe that they should write "down" to kids. Unfortunately, most TV writers aren't sufficiently elevated to be writing down. Most TV writers would have to strain to write "up" enough for Animorphs readers.
I'm not saying an Animorphs script has to read like a "Frasier" script or an "E.R." script, necessarily (although that would be nice.) But it should at least be on the level of "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" as opposed to "Sweet Valley High."
My feeling is that I am going to be straight with my readers about this show. If the TV show is great the credit and glory will not be mine. If it's not great, the blame won't be mine. No one wants it to succeed more than I do. I hope that I end up thinking "wow, I worried for nothing, the show is great!" If that's the case, I will be the first to heap praise on the producers.
Okay, I know this is going to sound corny but I can't help it. When are Rachel and Tobias going to admit that they like each other? Yes, they have dropped little hints since #1 but when are they just going to face it? ( As you can see, I' m a hopeless romantic and a Rachel fan.) And, if you've already written a book like that, tell me!
What? Rachel and Tobias like each other? I had no idea! Okay, maybe I had some slight idea. Maybe I've been dropping subtle hints every few books. When you get to MEGAMORPHS #2 you'll find that Rachel and Tobias spend a lot of time alone together. Now, are there any sudden confessions? Nah. You'll just have to keep reading between the lines. At least for now.
What Animorph are you like the most?
Probably Cassie. I started writing ANIMORPHS because I wanted to write about animals. I guess if I had to live the life of one of the Animorphs I'd choose to live Cassie's life. I'd love the whole Wildlife Rehab thing, access to a zoo, etc... But there are elements of Tobias and Marco in my personality, too. I'm probably least like Jake. I'm just not that responsible.
1. Do you ever get used 2 having thousands of kids like me idolizing you? I don't think I ever would.
2. Could you please list some of the other books you've written?
3. In book #10, the Chee mentioned a species called the Howlers that destroyed the Pemalites. Are they connected to the Yeerks? What are they like? Do they still "exist?" I think if no one finds out more about them, when #30 or MM#4 comes around there may be some loose threads dangling. Then again, who am I to complain?
1) You know, I'm not really aware of kids "idolizing" me. I hope they don't, actually. I am thrilled that kids like what I write, I am terrifically flattered, but idols should ideally be someone from your own life, a parent, a teacher, a friend. (Yes, I know that sounds corny and preachy, sorry.) If not someone you already know, that still leaves a great big list of people more worthy than me. There are human beings walking around on this planet who are about a billion times more qualified to be idols than I am. Great leaders, great thinkers, great heroes, and just ordinary people who daily endure so much more than I do, and do it with more grace.
2) Okay, I wrote a series called BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS which is going to be re-issued as MAKING OUT . It's romance, but I thought I did a good job with it. And sorry about the stupid new title, I had no control over that. Also there is a book called SHARING SAM that's in most bookstores. Also a romance.
3) No, the Howlers are just another, different bunch of galactic pains in the rear.
Being a interested in fantasy, I can't wait for Otherworld to come out! Will it be a run off Animorphs or with all new characters (like dragons, I hope I hope I hope)?
OTHERWORLD is all new. And as for dragons, of course there will be dragons. Gotta have dragons. I'll know in a few weeks about the "launch date", as we say in the book biz. If I had to guess I'd say June 1999. Sorry, I know that's a long wait.
Some of my friends and I have been wondering why Ax and Tobias switch places every few months in the pattern. The pattern of books goes Jake, Rachel, Tobias, Cassie, Marco, Jake, Rachel, Ax, Cassie, Marco, Jake, Rachel, Tobias, .... and so on. This pattern gives ax and Tobias half as many books as the others. Are they harder to write for?
Well, I hate to sound like a complete idiot, but I don't really know why. That was a decision Scholastic made. I have to let them make some decisions. After all, they do pay me. I guess early on they weren't sure if Ax was going to work as a character, so they wanted to limit him. Of course now we know Ax and Tobias are probably the two most consistently favorite characters. But who knew back then?
I heard that you are going to make a new series called Otherworld. I'm really excited! I have a couple questions about this. For instance, what age group will Otherworld be centered around? Also, I heard that it is going to be a fantasy series. Do you know at all what the plot will be about or who the characters will be? And last but not least, I can't wait! Do you have any idea when they will start coming out? I love Animorphs and hope that Otherworld will be just as good.
Technically OTHERWORLD will be "Y.A." as opposed to "middle reader." But, as you know, I write ANIMORPHS way old for a middle reader anyway so I don't think there will be much difference stylistically. I really hope and intend that the two series will share a lot of the same readers.
I kind of don't want to get too explicit about the OTHERWORLD concept just yet since I'm still talking it over with editors. But the basic idea is to take real kids, ordinary kids, and drop them into a world of magic and myth. More later on that, okay?
I don't have a launch date, but if I had to guess I'd say summer 1999.
Will your new series Otherworlds affect how fast Animorphs come out?
Nope. It won't. One Animorphs a month will still be the pace. I don't know yet whether OTHERWORLD will be monthly or every other.*
I recently noticed on the official site that Animorphs will be published internationally. What are your views on this? Do you worry at all about the parts that cannot be translated, such as in #6 where the Animorphs were trying to stop the Yeerks from infesting the governor because he could become President? After all, not all nations have Governors and Presidents. Also, where you mentioned various music groups and artists in #10, such as Alanis Morsette and Offspring, may be untranslatable. Do you worry about these parts at all?
Fortunately I don't have to worry about the international stuff. Here's what I know about it:
1) Someone from Scholastic writes to say "hey, we just sold to Norway for X dollars." 2) Eventually a copy arrives by Federal Express, all nicely translated. I have a bunch of Dutch language Animorphs in a box in my living room at the moment. I have no idea how well it translates since I don't speak Dutch. I guess the Dutch kids and French kids will just have to accept the idea of The Offspring. (By the way, they are a Michael-recommended band. My tastes are more classical and blues.)
1) What do you think of people who make websites for you. I mean, There must be millions! Do you go on the net every once n' while and just look at them, or not. Also, what do you think of stories that other people write about the Animorphs? Like Jeff's "Changes". Do you ever think "Hey now, those are my stories!"
2) Are you planning to write Animorphs and Otherworld at the same time? That would get kinda confusing.
3) Finally, how did you get in touch with scholastic? I mean, did you do morse code, telephone, letter, E-mail, Fax, or thought-speak (Doh! I knew I shouldn't be reading and writing at the same time)?
I think it's amazingly cool and flattering that people do Animorphs web sites. I am stunned that people put so much talent and effort into them. I've visited dozens so far. I am also intensely flattered that people do "fan fiction." Beyond thinking it's cool, it's a great way to get practice writing. The "Changes" authors obviously learned a great deal about adopting a style and a "voice". In fact, it was eerie how well they picked up on the "voice" of Animorphs. There are big chunks of Changes that I could lift and insert directly into an Animorphs book without anything more than minor rewrites.
I have to be honest about Otherworld. I intend to hire writers to help me carry the load on some of the books. As you may know, series are often ghostwritten. Thus far no Animorphs have been ghosted and I still plan to write all Animorphs books myself, and definitely the first three Otherworlds. IF I can find writers who can do at least as good a job as I do, THEN I will hire ghostwriters to handle a lot of Otherworld. If not, then I'll write them all myself. Either way, the characters and plots will be all mine, carefully overseen by me.
I "pitched" Animorphs to Scholastic by mail. I sent them what we call a "series bible." A series bible is a loose-leaf binder containing sample chapters, outlines for a number of books, a short explanation of the idea, a longer, very complete explanation of the idea, biographies of the main characters, and, in the case of Animorphs, even some badly-drawn pictures of Andalites, Taxxons and Hork-Bajir.
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2017.07.01 03:21 Aurora_Borealiz When Has Frasier Helped You?

TLDR: In the interest of increasing the positivity, I invite you to share a time when Frasier has given you a timely reminder about life that has made you feel better - if you're comfortable doing so, of course. :)
Hello all,
It took 20 days, but today I finally had my first negative Reddit interaction. I agreed with an unpopular interpretation I felt was justified, and after receiving many downvotes, someone decided to tell me "no one cares" whether I agreed with that redditor or not. Petty as that was, it can be hard to read words your depression already plays over and over in your head.
I decided to put on Frasier while making breakfast, and the next episode happened to be "Love Stinks" (S9 E5), when Frasier finds the unfavorable graffito about his pretentious nature in the bathroom of KACL. While not exactly the same as my negative interaction, it was a timely reminder that not everyone is going to like me or my opinions, and sometimes life is better that way.
In the interest of increasing the positivity, I invite you to share a time when Frasier has given you a timely reminder about life that has made you feel better - if you're comfortable doing so, of course. :)
Edit: In my responses to your contributions, I forgot about the smiley bot. Apologies for any inconveniences, at least the pictures are pretty adorable.
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