I (22m) can’t seem to find “the click”?
2020.04.05 23:59 DolSparnur I (22m) can’t seem to find “the click”?
Tl;dr: I want someone so we complement/enrich each other but have a lot of different facets. Am I setting the bar to high?
This first paragraph is context: It has been 6 months since my semi mutual break up from a relationship of 3 years (it just did not work out). My ex was energetic, caring and had quite a bit of common sense. She was open minded to my interests, at least as long as all was good. She was also into fitness and extremely sexy. But she was also really toxic. I can gladly say I’m almost over her and also getting more and more open to new girls. I have met some and even had an unsuccessful ONS (I felt too much anxiety as I was not used to the experience). While I don’t date I do “put myself out there”. I have no trouble talking to people or flirting and did speeddating recently. I have multiple facets to my personality: ambivert, reads, laid back, high cuddle/sex drive, interest in philosophy/patterns/psychology/discussions..., very open minded (I can develop an interest in almost anything, + into kink), (video) gaming, anime/fantasy, sports, I take care of myself, I like adventure/nature, I like travelling/being on the road yet also just sitting at home. I like the glamorous, I like the more common parties etc.
Now here comes the problem: I don’t have a full click with any of the girls I meet. My 6 best friends (2 groups of 2 and 2 individuals) are also like me in all those things I named + bring something extra (like instruments or programming ...) But I really want this “full click”. I want my next relationship to be the last. Yet all the girls I have met have not been.. captivating enough? I have one girl friend (not gf) that matches my extroverted personality, sexual drive (did not do anything but I know she’s like that) dirty humor and party going. Another that matches my introvert side, geeky interests, punny humor, discussions, open mindedness but seems to lack the sportiness, gaming,.. The girls I do click with already have boyfriends (and those bf’s are people I really get along with because they are like me).
Am I setting my standards too high for wanting someone with at least most of those things? Or who would like to learn them? I want someone so we not only complement but enrich each other. I would try to bring the same to the table. If she was into art I would also try and get into it for example.
Thanks! I hope I did not come across negatively. I have been told I convey the opposite online.
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2020.03.27 18:59 Magunco Are there dating apps or services for introverts?
Hi I am a ISFJ, 26M, living a easy going life in the Netherlands. I am currently 5 years single and it drives me crazy. I had a couple of dates with women from my friend circle, tried some speeddating and I am active on dating apps like Tinder and Happn. On Tinder and Happn most of the people I see are the active outgoing types or don't have a bio at all, while I am searching for a homebody like myself. I am honest in my profile bio and I rather stay home or take some one out on a diner then going to a party or go clubbing the entire night.
I don't get a lot of matches and when I have one it slowly bleeds to death, I don't believe I am socially awkward or don't look attractive or anything like that, I am the one who keeps a conversation going or starts one since most seem to have a problem with that. Yet I keep getting ghosted
So yeah back to the title, are there any dating apps or services for the more introverted people? Or does anyone have advice to give me for dating here as a introvert in the Netherlands?
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2018.04.28 17:22 oyoungpadawan Shit test, she sends me a snap of a speeddate event and says I should go.
Shit test, she sends me a snap of a speeddate event and says I should go.
The event was 22-29, she says I can still go (because I'm 29 myself) She's 23.
I saw it costed 30€ and just replied:
wow 30€ just to talk to some people (with the crying lauging face)
What should I have responded?
UPDATE: After this she asked me to go out tonight. I did and met het at a small open air party, she was super bored and constantly on the phone. Turned out a guy she wanted was there and she wanted to be seen there with someone else.
I was just there as decoration.
As soon as she saw him making out with another girl she wanted to leave and go home, I left and joined my friends at another bar.
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2017.11.17 23:12 yramagicman Using Vim 8 package loader [tip][guide]
Too long, don't care. What's the point?
I've recently taken to using the package functionality in Vim 8. It's really wonderful. My
is 2 lines that open netrw if in a directory and tell vim where to find the rest of my stuff, which ends up being about 435 lines of code. With the way I have things set to lazy load,
reports things loading in 100msec or less.
I'm sufficiently intrigued, how does it work?
Create a directory in your
where you want to keep your packages. I've chosen to call it
. Then, in your
to point to that directory, like this
. Now inside
create a second (or a couple directories) directory to contain all your plugins, I've chosen the name
for third-party stuff, and
for my own stuff. In that directory create two more directories called
. You should have a structure that looks like this
/home/yramagicman/.vim/pack ├── mine │ ├── opt │ └── start └── vendor ├── opt └── start 6 directories, 0 files
Once you have that, put packages you want to load when vim starts in the
directory(s) and packages you want to load later in the
directories. From there Vim will do the work. It automatically sources plugins in the
directory. For plugins in the
Final thing. Plugins still have to follow the standard Vim plugin structrue. My
directory looks like this, for example:
/home/yramagicman/.vim/pack/mine ├── opt │ ├── autocmds │ │ └── plugin │ │ └── autocmds.vim │ └── mappings │ └── plugin │ └── mappings.vim └── start ├── config │ └── plugin │ └── config.vim └── extensions └── plugin └── extensions.vim 10 directories, 4 files
What about my package manager?
Your package manager loads everything via vimscript. This works, but it's not great. Vimscript is slow, and filesystem access is even slower. Letting Vim do the work gives you a much faster experience. (Note: I'm assuming the Vim Plugin loader isn't written in vimscript here. I might be wrong about this. Either way, my experience has been that letting the builtin package loader do the work is faster.)
How am I going to manage my plugins now?
As far as I know, I don't do research about existing solutions before starting a project. So I've written my own package installeremover that leverages the existing functionality of Vim 8, both for parallel install, and for loading packages. It works, but it's not very fancy. The only thing this has over the defacto standard vim-plug and friends is speed. I'm working on an auto-update feature, but that's going to need some time. With the usual vim-plug startup times look like this:
114.915 000.002: --- VIM STARTED --- 124.198 000.001: --- VIM STARTED --- 149.028 000.001: --- VIM STARTED --- 153.213 000.002: --- VIM STARTED ---
Using my very basic package installer and Vim 8's builtin loading my startup times look like this:
086.355 000.006: --- VIM STARTED --- 095.883 000.003: --- VIM STARTED --- 074.545 000.001: --- VIM STARTED --- 095.648 000.002: --- VIM STARTED --- 078.504 000.001: --- VIM STARTED --- 089.626 000.002: --- VIM STARTED ---
Granted, some of the optimizations that contribute to that come from lazy-loading, which can also be done with vim-plug as was shown in this post several days ago
. Some of that is also due to the fact that my plugin manager also loads faster. I haven't done the math, but I think, based on the looks of it, it loads about twice as fast as vim-plug.
Right now, this is just a script in my dotfiles. I can break it out into it's own repository if there's interest. Here's the link, if you want to check it out: https://github.com/yramagicman/stow-dotfiles/blob/mastevim/.vim/autoload/pack.vim
How does this work?
It's pretty similar to vim-plug. You call a function that loads the package manager, then call more functions that load the packages, and Vim does the rest of the work. It looks something like this:
PlugStart installs a plugin so it loads when vim starts up
PlugOpt installs a plugin so it can be loaded later
- The plugin looks for a list variable called
g:VimPack_Setup_Folders. If found, it will loop through that list and create directories with the names found in the list. I use this so if I install my dotfiles on another machine, Vim doesn't yell at me about the backup directory not existing or something like that. Sure, there's other ways around that, but this was my solution.
I've created commands that load Clam and Ack.vim lazilly. The Clam command works, but there's a bug in the Ack command. I'll have to figure that out later.
The auto-commands load plugins based on filetype.
is the way to tell Vim to load a plugin in opt. See
for more info.
The only competition I know of is minipac
which looks good, but I haven't tried it. I prefer the syntax of vim-plug and Vundle to the function calls of minipac, however, so that's a (very) small mark against a plugin I haven't tried.
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2016.09.08 16:52 trichtrich I [25F] Have Never Been In A Relationship. I Think I'm Doing Something Wrong.
I'm at my wit's end here. I hope it's not stupid. Sorry if I'm a bit incoherent here and there - this is troubling me a lot and English isn't my first language.
I've struggled with depression/anxiety since childhood and I think this has something to do with this issue.
All throughout my youth I've been having crushes on people, been in love with some, and just in general had strong feelings about other people. I'm unsure of my sexuality but I currently identify as bisexual. Most of my crushes and infatuations have been on girls.
I've never been in a relationship. I've confessed my feelings to people and I've gotten rejected - which is fine. I'm still close friends with some of these people and they're important parts of my life.
I've never french kissed, never had intercourse, nothing of the likes. The most intimate I've gotten was a short kiss on the lips. Or snuggles.
But something happened recently. A friend [27M] confessed that he's into me. We spent some time together and to be honest initially I was charmed by how nice he was to me? But I just didn't feel it. And so I told him. And he was really understanding.
But I feel like something's wrong with me. I'm a nerdy kid so I don't go to parties or whatever, I've tried online dating... I've tried asking among friends if they think they know someone who would be interested in going on a date... I've even considered speeddating. I really want a romantic relationship.
To be honest, just a few dates would be nice for a start. I don't know how to do it though. I've even attempted to get myself drunk enough to be less inhibited when interacting with strangers. But I'm terrible at that, too (I stop drinking as soon as i get sleepy, almost automatically). I know that's a stupid thing to do, thankfully nothing happened.
I'm just... lost. I don't know where even to start. I want to make these kinds of experiences. I'm not even aiming for something long term or anything... ugh. I'm babbling.
I guess I can try to boil it down to what I think might be my main issues?
- Do you have any tips on how to meet people while having social anxiety?
- Is it weird to try and start dating so late? :(
-TrichTrich TL;DR I can't seem to be able to have romantic relationships. I want one, though.
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2015.12.30 03:34 adhesiveheart How do you meet people?
I'm 25 and i live in a small city which doesn't have much going on. Its a suburb of a much larger city but it takes me 1- 1.5 hrs to get down there. Even if I attended all the meetups/events there, I don't really want to end up with a guy who lives so far away and I'm not interested in moving.
Online dating makes me really uncomfortable because I have serious anxiety about my picture being found by someone I know. I have a friend who met her boyfriend there and she literally told me that they bonded over reading other peoples profiles.
Tried speed dating and those guys lacked communication skills and they were much older.
Only women in my gym. My friends don't know anyone and I don't really go clubbing or to too many house parties.
What do I do?
TLDR: Online, Speeddating, Meetup events, Friends have failed me . Help
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2015.08.31 12:39 Helga_Maltend Hey Oxford! Don't miss the most romantic event for singles on the 2d September! Check out the details here!
We are organizing fun speeddating events and singles parties where you can meet up with new people and have a fun night!
Speed dating is the perfect way to meet loads of new people in one night. Come with a smile and an open mind. Don’t come with a list of job interview questions and an engagement ring just in case.
When you arrive, our lovely SpeedDater host will welcome you and sign you in. Your badge will match a table in the room and usually the ladies stay seated while the men rotate about every 4 mins when the bell ringa-ding-dings. You will have a card to mark down if you are interested in your dates. It’s very handy if you have a few too many cocktails. Just make sure you take the card home with you when you leave.
And after the event? Simply log in with your username and password and click the 'my matches' tab. Once you have entered your ticks you will see if you match with anyone. Remember it's FREE to send/read messages to/from all the guests you have met at the event through our secure website. All our events are guaranteed! If you don't meet at least one person you'd like to see again your next event is free. What have you got to lose?
Date: Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Age Group: Women 24-36 Men 26-38
The venue: "La Tasca", 5 Oxford Castle, New Road, Oxford
Registration is available by the link ->http://www.speeddater.co.uk/event/speed-dating/Oxford/venue/27737
See you there!
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2014.02.22 01:24 Fjolletosset [Serious] Teenagers I need your help! What is the funniest event you've been attending?
Hello! I am creating an event for teenagers in my area. And therefore I wanted to ask, what is the most fun event you been at and why? Were you playing a fun game? Did you meet a lot of new people and how? It can be anything from a school event to a birthday party!
Edit: If you are interested in knowing why I ask. It is going to be in the local cinema where we would watch a movie first, and then there would be some kind of event afterwards. I'm thinking speeddating, limbo, ''create you favorite famous person out of weird materials''-competitions and quizzes. Anything sounds cool, or just super outdated?
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2012.06.18 05:07 frontbot 4am Mon 18 Jun 2012 - /r/wtf
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2012.06.18 04:07 frontbot 3am Mon 18 Jun 2012 - /r/wtf
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